Your replies to the question at the bottom of this post will determine whether this series of stories continues.First, here are the stories:
A Pet Rock Hotline Day
Taco Tuesday
Sigma
Eavesdropping
A Weird Book
A messed up day...and stupid Facebook games
Depressed
A strange CD
RASUKI
Training
Disk 2
Sexual Harassment
Odd little meeting
Out of sight...
Kwacebs and Ponai
lets-all-call-at-same-time
Hairy women
The weekend
Private Freak Show
Sightings
"Dogos"
Project work
Mad House
Trifles
I feel violated
on the threshold
back-on-terra-firma
back-to-grind
such a waste
slime
clothes
zufa
mens-skirts
at the station
second-day-back
space-station-tour
going-in-space
uniform
management-party
jupiter-call-center
minda
Tarjay
alien-routine
stupid-call-center
alien-religion
ass-kissers
crisis-of-faith
credit-card-suck
the conflict-begins
http://akktri.livejournal.com/660724.html
religious-spat
isolation
Registry suck
uryanzor
friday-at-the space-station
fruit-juice
drunk-out-of-my-mind
stranded
reprieve
coming home
back-to-earth
And finally this:
2009/10/ update
What do you think will happen next? Any questions or comments?
Showing posts with label call center stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label call center stories. Show all posts
Friday, October 2, 2009
Update
I've just contacted Sigma on my computer. She's doing all right. She's still a Christian and she's checking to see what she can do about my paycheck. She also asked me to come to her planet, or maybe go back to the station.
What should I do? Any and all comments would be appreciated.
If no one says anything, I don't think I'm going to post any more stories like this.
What should I do? Any and all comments would be appreciated.
If no one says anything, I don't think I'm going to post any more stories like this.
Back to earth
I was relieved to be finally going home. It had taken far too long, but now I was actually going. I slept through the first leg of the trip, waking up just as a small blue dot appeared on the monitors in the cockpit. I had breakfast and then Sigma showed me her planet's social networking "site". That's not the right word for it, but it's kind of like what it is, except with video phones and some crazy stuff earth people haven't invented yet. Anyways, I registered an account and tried it out, which was interesting. Sigma told me Minda was on there, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to break her heart again. I eventually decided to add her, but I didn't wait for a reply. I watched a movie from Sigma's planet, a drama about a couple separated by a long distance in space and a child they lost due to being mauled by a Cuizlu. It was sad and made me feel depressed about leaving Minda. I watched cable to lighten the mood.
By then I felt gravity tugging on me and decided we were nearing the surface of the earth. I played one of their computer games, then naped in a sofa until Sigma shook me and said we were back.
Once she had the hatch open, I quickly hurried outside, looking for my suitcase.
It was lying open in the field. Things were slightly dirty. It contained bits of weeds and had bugs crawling in it, but nothing was missing. I was able to rescue a shirt from a nearby bush. The rest of it was tucked safely inside. Everything was there except the food and what Sigma took.
I asked Sigma for my things and she returned the confiscated items, and my car keys, and my wallet (no money was missing, thankfully, but it still smelled funny). I hurried to my car (which luckily hadn't been towed away) and hurried home.
The moment I got in the door, my dad and brother and mom asked me a lot of questions about what happened, so I had to make something up. Well, I'd formulated a story to tell them while coming home, so I basically told them that one, as quickly as I could. It was a good thing they were watching a movie and didn't stop to think about it. So now they think I went to a conference and did nothing but have a lot of long, boring seminars and work in their call center. That's good enough.
I didn't mention this before, because nobody would understand the situation until I explained my story, but on Friday of that first week back I got my paycheck and it was only $600, just like I had only worked 40 hours. I asked Sigma if it would show up in the next paycheck and she said no, she had an account on planet Pathilon that contains the rest. I told her I couldn't use that and it's probably void after 90 days or something anyway. But she said it wasn't legal to give me that in earth currency without it being taxed, and I'd already paid the taxes once, the taxes for her planet. I asked if it counted in insurance or something and she said no. That was frustrating. I asked her if she could bypass the law for just one paycheck, like calling it a "gift" or something, and she said she'd think about it. And we didn't talk about it again that day.
When I came back the following Monday, she was gone. And she stayed gone the entire week. So now it's been, what, two weeks? Three? Anyways, it's been awhile since my little adventure. I still haven't seen Sigma. I hope she's doing all right. I haven't seen my money, either, but I'm not sure how to prosecute something like this. I still think about my time on the station, and wonder if they still believe in Jesus and if their souls are at peace.
By then I felt gravity tugging on me and decided we were nearing the surface of the earth. I played one of their computer games, then naped in a sofa until Sigma shook me and said we were back.
Once she had the hatch open, I quickly hurried outside, looking for my suitcase.
It was lying open in the field. Things were slightly dirty. It contained bits of weeds and had bugs crawling in it, but nothing was missing. I was able to rescue a shirt from a nearby bush. The rest of it was tucked safely inside. Everything was there except the food and what Sigma took.
I asked Sigma for my things and she returned the confiscated items, and my car keys, and my wallet (no money was missing, thankfully, but it still smelled funny). I hurried to my car (which luckily hadn't been towed away) and hurried home.
The moment I got in the door, my dad and brother and mom asked me a lot of questions about what happened, so I had to make something up. Well, I'd formulated a story to tell them while coming home, so I basically told them that one, as quickly as I could. It was a good thing they were watching a movie and didn't stop to think about it. So now they think I went to a conference and did nothing but have a lot of long, boring seminars and work in their call center. That's good enough.
I didn't mention this before, because nobody would understand the situation until I explained my story, but on Friday of that first week back I got my paycheck and it was only $600, just like I had only worked 40 hours. I asked Sigma if it would show up in the next paycheck and she said no, she had an account on planet Pathilon that contains the rest. I told her I couldn't use that and it's probably void after 90 days or something anyway. But she said it wasn't legal to give me that in earth currency without it being taxed, and I'd already paid the taxes once, the taxes for her planet. I asked if it counted in insurance or something and she said no. That was frustrating. I asked her if she could bypass the law for just one paycheck, like calling it a "gift" or something, and she said she'd think about it. And we didn't talk about it again that day.
When I came back the following Monday, she was gone. And she stayed gone the entire week. So now it's been, what, two weeks? Three? Anyways, it's been awhile since my little adventure. I still haven't seen Sigma. I hope she's doing all right. I haven't seen my money, either, but I'm not sure how to prosecute something like this. I still think about my time on the station, and wonder if they still believe in Jesus and if their souls are at peace.
Reprieve
Tuesday.
We were still stuck at the station. Nobody had brought the ship back yet. I wasn't happy about that, or having to work every day of the week. I grudgingly went about my work, biding my time.
I had this one guy call about a problem he had with a retailer. It was one of those dumb situations where the guy wanted to complain to a supervisor because he couldn't get away with violating company policy. I offered to send him to corporate but he said they wouldn't listen. His voice sounded funny and I couldn't help smiling a little too much. Before I could shut off the picture, he really got mad and kept demanding a supervisor. The problem was, the escalation line was busy and my two crewmates were busy. So he just waited and waited and then he insulted me and made fun of my looks and made comments about one of the stories circulating about me. I just put up with it because it was my job. He wouldn't let me put him on hold or anything. Eventually I got Sigma to take the call.
The other calls went more smoothly, though more people were asking strange questions about me getting drunk on something called Vefrek. I wondered how they knew that but didn't ask them.
I went to lunch and asked Minda about it. Her response was "I don't know, maybe Sigma said something." And then she looked sad. I asked her why she looked glum and she said "You're leaving." I sighed and said yes. I told her I was tired of the station and wanted to go home and she could come visit me if she wanted. She just sighed and said nothing. I told her it was good we hadn't done anything beyond what we did or it would have been worse for her. That made her nod. Then she just stared at the table. I thought about doing something to comfort her, but I figured that probably would have made the parting worse.
I took some more calls. Another crisis about scientific instrumentation on a Liobvalx cruiser. And stupid account system problems. Just the usual stuff, nothing memorable. The architecture of the spaceships and dwellings was pretty uniform and uninteresting for the most part. The novelty had passed the first couple days I'd taken calls. And those calls weren't any different. I logged out for the day and went to the break room to watch cable.
About a half hour later, Minda comes into the room, looking like she'd been crying or something. I didn't know what to say. She sat down next to me on the couch, wrapping her arms and tail around me, so I put my arm around her. She tries to kiss me, but I push her back and tell her no, explaining the biblical stance on marriage. She said that wasn't what I was saying that night we were kissing, but again I said I was drunk.
Then she asks me, "Is it worth marrying someone if your partner is of a different species and you don't know if their sexual equipment is compatible?" It wasn't a very subtle question, so I said if she's talking about an Abreya, then yes. Until I knew for certain, the marriage would be a valid thing. If it really was impossible, the two could just go their separate ways, but all that means is that their wedding shouldn't be a huge spectacle. She sadly nods and we just cuddle.
I have another study session with her, do some exercises, and prepare for bed.
When I was heading down to the crew quarters to sleep, I heard a shout. I went out to investigate, and Sigma was telling me to get ready to go and that the ship was here.
We were still stuck at the station. Nobody had brought the ship back yet. I wasn't happy about that, or having to work every day of the week. I grudgingly went about my work, biding my time.
I had this one guy call about a problem he had with a retailer. It was one of those dumb situations where the guy wanted to complain to a supervisor because he couldn't get away with violating company policy. I offered to send him to corporate but he said they wouldn't listen. His voice sounded funny and I couldn't help smiling a little too much. Before I could shut off the picture, he really got mad and kept demanding a supervisor. The problem was, the escalation line was busy and my two crewmates were busy. So he just waited and waited and then he insulted me and made fun of my looks and made comments about one of the stories circulating about me. I just put up with it because it was my job. He wouldn't let me put him on hold or anything. Eventually I got Sigma to take the call.
The other calls went more smoothly, though more people were asking strange questions about me getting drunk on something called Vefrek. I wondered how they knew that but didn't ask them.
I went to lunch and asked Minda about it. Her response was "I don't know, maybe Sigma said something." And then she looked sad. I asked her why she looked glum and she said "You're leaving." I sighed and said yes. I told her I was tired of the station and wanted to go home and she could come visit me if she wanted. She just sighed and said nothing. I told her it was good we hadn't done anything beyond what we did or it would have been worse for her. That made her nod. Then she just stared at the table. I thought about doing something to comfort her, but I figured that probably would have made the parting worse.
I took some more calls. Another crisis about scientific instrumentation on a Liobvalx cruiser. And stupid account system problems. Just the usual stuff, nothing memorable. The architecture of the spaceships and dwellings was pretty uniform and uninteresting for the most part. The novelty had passed the first couple days I'd taken calls. And those calls weren't any different. I logged out for the day and went to the break room to watch cable.
About a half hour later, Minda comes into the room, looking like she'd been crying or something. I didn't know what to say. She sat down next to me on the couch, wrapping her arms and tail around me, so I put my arm around her. She tries to kiss me, but I push her back and tell her no, explaining the biblical stance on marriage. She said that wasn't what I was saying that night we were kissing, but again I said I was drunk.
Then she asks me, "Is it worth marrying someone if your partner is of a different species and you don't know if their sexual equipment is compatible?" It wasn't a very subtle question, so I said if she's talking about an Abreya, then yes. Until I knew for certain, the marriage would be a valid thing. If it really was impossible, the two could just go their separate ways, but all that means is that their wedding shouldn't be a huge spectacle. She sadly nods and we just cuddle.
I have another study session with her, do some exercises, and prepare for bed.
When I was heading down to the crew quarters to sleep, I heard a shout. I went out to investigate, and Sigma was telling me to get ready to go and that the ship was here.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Drunk out of my mind
Like I was saying, I woke up Sunday morning, and I was wearing a dress.
I was cold and wet, because I'd just been sprayed all over with some sort of alien Super Soaker.
With my head throbbing, I glared at the two Abreyas, yelling and cussing at them about how there was no good reason for waking me up that way.
Then they point to the clock. It was already part way into the start of my shift. I ask them what happened and they said there wasn't any time to explain.
I headed to the bathroom, but they said I didn't have time to shower or anything, they needed me on the phones.
I said I needed to use the toilet, but all they did was hand me the diaper thing. So I put it on and went to the phones.
Work was...interesting. Some of my customers complimented me on the dress. Others (mostly Dogos customers) said it wasn't professional and said I should be wearing a uniform. Other people didn't care, being too obsessed with their own problems.
The hours slowly crept by. When I came to her for help on a call, Minda complimented me on my outfit, which made me really embarrassed.
I had to deal with a registration issue with a Dogos customer, and answer a lot of questions about some bustier thing with a loincloth (for women), and then this one guy called about login problems. He said that his order was being shipped to the wrong planet, and he wanted it stopped before it went out because he no longer lives there. I told him I'd be happy to help him, but I couldn't verify his account information. He looked like he was lying, but he found some paper in his messy room and I had to help him.
Of course by that time, it was already halfway across the galaxy. There wasn't anything I could do. He started making all these demands and I kept telling him no. That call lasted to about the middle of my lunch time. I eventually managed a refund to shut him up. I eventually went into lunch, but only after I recorded some compliments (for a store location) and sent them to corporate.
I wanted to shower and change and everything, but I decided something more important had to be addressed.
I went down to the break room and found Minda at a table, grinning at me. I asked her what was so funny and she said I "looked cute." Whatever.
So I asked her what happened the previous night.
She said I got drunk and started dancing, and I gave them a fashion show. I asked her what else I did and she said that I kissed her, then I started blabbering about silly stuff and made everybody laugh. Then I started kissing her again. After that I fell asleep and they put me in my bed. I asked her if she were sure that's all I did and she just giggled.
That scared me. I became angry, angrier than I already was, and demanded she tell me what else I did. I told her I wanted my conscience to be clean before God and that I had a headache.
She sighed and told me we came close to doing something...wrong, and then I started preaching at her and I just ended up falling asleep on the couch and they had to carry me to bed.
I was horrified. I felt betrayed. I have always been afraid of getting drunk and doing something I regret. That's why I have never touched a drop before, even on my 21st birthday. And I'm 30. Unless you count communion wine, but obviously I wouldn't drink more than a sip of that. I felt disgusted at myself. Feeling sick to my stomach, I just took a quick shower, put on my proper uniform and went back to the phones.
Lesson for the day: Ask questions before you eat or drink or smoke anything indigenous. And ask the right questions.
When I went to ask Sigma for advice on a call, she said she was disappointed that I wasn't wearing the dress anymore. I ignored it and asked my question. After I got my answer, she asked me to "do that dance again." I told her I didn't know what she was talking about, so she does this goofy dance.
I just went back to the phone.
After my shift, I just recuperated from the...whatever the hell I drank. I had a bible study, exercised, and did the usual stuff to unwind. This did not include that juice, whatever it was called.
I was cold and wet, because I'd just been sprayed all over with some sort of alien Super Soaker.
With my head throbbing, I glared at the two Abreyas, yelling and cussing at them about how there was no good reason for waking me up that way.
Then they point to the clock. It was already part way into the start of my shift. I ask them what happened and they said there wasn't any time to explain.
I headed to the bathroom, but they said I didn't have time to shower or anything, they needed me on the phones.
I said I needed to use the toilet, but all they did was hand me the diaper thing. So I put it on and went to the phones.
Work was...interesting. Some of my customers complimented me on the dress. Others (mostly Dogos customers) said it wasn't professional and said I should be wearing a uniform. Other people didn't care, being too obsessed with their own problems.
The hours slowly crept by. When I came to her for help on a call, Minda complimented me on my outfit, which made me really embarrassed.
I had to deal with a registration issue with a Dogos customer, and answer a lot of questions about some bustier thing with a loincloth (for women), and then this one guy called about login problems. He said that his order was being shipped to the wrong planet, and he wanted it stopped before it went out because he no longer lives there. I told him I'd be happy to help him, but I couldn't verify his account information. He looked like he was lying, but he found some paper in his messy room and I had to help him.
Of course by that time, it was already halfway across the galaxy. There wasn't anything I could do. He started making all these demands and I kept telling him no. That call lasted to about the middle of my lunch time. I eventually managed a refund to shut him up. I eventually went into lunch, but only after I recorded some compliments (for a store location) and sent them to corporate.
I wanted to shower and change and everything, but I decided something more important had to be addressed.
I went down to the break room and found Minda at a table, grinning at me. I asked her what was so funny and she said I "looked cute." Whatever.
So I asked her what happened the previous night.
She said I got drunk and started dancing, and I gave them a fashion show. I asked her what else I did and she said that I kissed her, then I started blabbering about silly stuff and made everybody laugh. Then I started kissing her again. After that I fell asleep and they put me in my bed. I asked her if she were sure that's all I did and she just giggled.
That scared me. I became angry, angrier than I already was, and demanded she tell me what else I did. I told her I wanted my conscience to be clean before God and that I had a headache.
She sighed and told me we came close to doing something...wrong, and then I started preaching at her and I just ended up falling asleep on the couch and they had to carry me to bed.
I was horrified. I felt betrayed. I have always been afraid of getting drunk and doing something I regret. That's why I have never touched a drop before, even on my 21st birthday. And I'm 30. Unless you count communion wine, but obviously I wouldn't drink more than a sip of that. I felt disgusted at myself. Feeling sick to my stomach, I just took a quick shower, put on my proper uniform and went back to the phones.
Lesson for the day: Ask questions before you eat or drink or smoke anything indigenous. And ask the right questions.
When I went to ask Sigma for advice on a call, she said she was disappointed that I wasn't wearing the dress anymore. I ignored it and asked my question. After I got my answer, she asked me to "do that dance again." I told her I didn't know what she was talking about, so she does this goofy dance.
I just went back to the phone.
After my shift, I just recuperated from the...whatever the hell I drank. I had a bible study, exercised, and did the usual stuff to unwind. This did not include that juice, whatever it was called.
Fruit juice
Saturday came. No sign of the ship yet.
I had worked 48 hours total (and probably more due to training), but I was asked, or rather told, to work more. I got the news at breakfast. I had to change into my uniform and then go back to work. I wondered if these Abreyas had labor unions, but I figured I'd deal with that issue later. I had a call about malfunctioning spaceship appliances that turned out pretty well, a store search for a special vest made of Grunkiahu leather, whatever that is, and a call about the account system that got a little crazy. I guess someone hacked the system and took his money or something. I transferred him to the appropriate department. I got another call about accounts, but it wasn't about fraud that time. Then I had some other stuff, and a call about pre-ordering that led to a supervisor transfer (I didn't have the information, and he'd bought a Dogos package before that I guess didn't work out so well).
I went to lunch and asked Minda about the Wodov, but she didn't know when he'd be there, and that she'd keep watching while Sigma was gone.
I got a little distracted watching cable and logged into the phones late, but nobody said anything. I took more calls.
I got off the phone and went to the break room to watch TV. As I'm sitting there, Sigma and Minda come in and sit down on either side of me, and I'm offered a beverage. I asked what it was and they said "fruit juice," so I had some. It tasted good, so I drank more.
I wasn't sure what happened next, but when I woke up, I was in one of the beds, I was wearing that gray dress, and my head hurt. I surmised that I had ingested something alcoholic, but that was all I knew.
I had worked 48 hours total (and probably more due to training), but I was asked, or rather told, to work more. I got the news at breakfast. I had to change into my uniform and then go back to work. I wondered if these Abreyas had labor unions, but I figured I'd deal with that issue later. I had a call about malfunctioning spaceship appliances that turned out pretty well, a store search for a special vest made of Grunkiahu leather, whatever that is, and a call about the account system that got a little crazy. I guess someone hacked the system and took his money or something. I transferred him to the appropriate department. I got another call about accounts, but it wasn't about fraud that time. Then I had some other stuff, and a call about pre-ordering that led to a supervisor transfer (I didn't have the information, and he'd bought a Dogos package before that I guess didn't work out so well).
I went to lunch and asked Minda about the Wodov, but she didn't know when he'd be there, and that she'd keep watching while Sigma was gone.
I got a little distracted watching cable and logged into the phones late, but nobody said anything. I took more calls.
I got off the phone and went to the break room to watch TV. As I'm sitting there, Sigma and Minda come in and sit down on either side of me, and I'm offered a beverage. I asked what it was and they said "fruit juice," so I had some. It tasted good, so I drank more.
I wasn't sure what happened next, but when I woke up, I was in one of the beds, I was wearing that gray dress, and my head hurt. I surmised that I had ingested something alcoholic, but that was all I knew.
Friday at the space station
I was glad it was Friday. I thought I was going home. I thought about asking if we had casual Fridays, but I didn't bother because I didn't have much of a wardrobe at this point anyway. I made my morning preparations with a gusto and went down to the break room.
I sat down with Minda and asked her when I'd be going back and she said when the ship returns. I asked her when that was and she said "whenever" and that it depended largely on Mekhilta's transit time and/or if there were any complications with her trip. I asked if it were possible for that to be today and she said it was unlikely. That depressed me. I was tired of the weird food and diapers and vacuum toilets and not being able to go out to restaurants or parks or breathe fresh air. With reluctance I went back on the phones.
I didn't get any Dogos calls all day. I got nothing but calls about clothing. I had a couple escalated calls, one about me not knowing everything there is to know about a "dress" and "heels", the other was some guy complaining about how the security was so high and that he placed the order and wanted information I wasn't permitted to give him. The rest were okay, and I figured out how to negotiate to avoid it getting that far.
I had only one call related to the wild story I gave that paparazzi guy. Some guy asked me about my sexual exploits and if I'd ever done a Muperzguz or something. I shrugged and said maybe and laughed. Then I took care of his problem with his order.
I went to lunch then went back on the phones for a few more hours.
A lot of people seemed to hang up when they saw me. Not sure what that was about. They'd look at me, have this weird expression and then they'd disconnect. Oh well.
I logged off for the day and the two females took me aside and started asking about praise songs. I taught them a few, and we had sort of an informal praise service, which included an alien composition that Minda wrote. We studied and did the usual boring stuff until we retired for the night.
I sat down with Minda and asked her when I'd be going back and she said when the ship returns. I asked her when that was and she said "whenever" and that it depended largely on Mekhilta's transit time and/or if there were any complications with her trip. I asked if it were possible for that to be today and she said it was unlikely. That depressed me. I was tired of the weird food and diapers and vacuum toilets and not being able to go out to restaurants or parks or breathe fresh air. With reluctance I went back on the phones.
I didn't get any Dogos calls all day. I got nothing but calls about clothing. I had a couple escalated calls, one about me not knowing everything there is to know about a "dress" and "heels", the other was some guy complaining about how the security was so high and that he placed the order and wanted information I wasn't permitted to give him. The rest were okay, and I figured out how to negotiate to avoid it getting that far.
I had only one call related to the wild story I gave that paparazzi guy. Some guy asked me about my sexual exploits and if I'd ever done a Muperzguz or something. I shrugged and said maybe and laughed. Then I took care of his problem with his order.
I went to lunch then went back on the phones for a few more hours.
A lot of people seemed to hang up when they saw me. Not sure what that was about. They'd look at me, have this weird expression and then they'd disconnect. Oh well.
I logged off for the day and the two females took me aside and started asking about praise songs. I taught them a few, and we had sort of an informal praise service, which included an alien composition that Minda wrote. We studied and did the usual boring stuff until we retired for the night.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Isolation
The following morning was equally quiet. They made it a point to avoid me. That could have depressed me, but I was looking forward to actually having working toilets on board, since they said they'd be fixed that day.
I ate by myself and went to the phones.
Things were going okay until I had a call about an accounts security related problem. The fact that she knew me from the paparazzi didn't help matters. It escalated and I needed a supervisor. I found Minda, but she gave me a cold brush-off like supervisors at my old department did. Did you check in the knowledge center. You shouldn't be doing x, now go handle the call that you can't handle. On the subliminal level, they are saying "Don't talk to me. Go away." I ended up sending it to another department, on another planet, I'm guessing.
I took one call about alien clothing, which was a strange experience. I spoke to this guy that acted like a sissy when he didn't get his boots. And I mean a sissy. He didn't act manly at all about it. After that, I went to lunch and sat in the break room all by myself. Nothing new about that. I'm a loner. I've been eating alone for years before I came to Jupiter.
Being alone like that gave me a lot of time to think about things. I started to figure out I had feelings for these aliens, and I cared about them, and I really wanted to help them to get to this "Chisda" they spoke of.
Also, I realized that being in isolation tends to increase one's fear of abandonment.
I went back to the phones.
At the end of my shift, as I'm leaving my desk, both Sigma and Minda approach me and say that Jesus might be their religion's messiah,a nd they wanted him in their lives. And so, after telling Minda that she won't go to Beptot for rejecting Jesus since she came back, I asked them to apologize to my God and led them both into a conversion. Again.
Very awkward. I wasn't sure if this was what space aliens needed, but I felt better, I guess.
We did some studying then. They showed me the prophecies from their book and said it had to be Jesus and that's what made sense and it seemed plausible to me the way they said it. But I really didn't know their holy texts well enough to be certain.
Once we stopped for the evening, I had a workout and watched cable and went to the crew quarters.
As I was going to my bed, Sigma came up to me with another clear package. She pulls out the contents and I see it's a cape and some silky gray dress with elegant patterns stitched into it with red thread. She told me it would look good on me, but I said no.
As I was lying there in my bed, I heard banging sounds. I followed them to the bathroom, where I saw a male Abreya in person for the first time. His name was Wlodek. He had a gold pelt and wore a blue halter jumpsuit with harem pants. I wasn't too bothered by the outfit because I'd seen them wearing that on the hologram, but I still thought it was weird. The good thing part was that he was fixing the plumbing, which made me very pleased.
I ate by myself and went to the phones.
Things were going okay until I had a call about an accounts security related problem. The fact that she knew me from the paparazzi didn't help matters. It escalated and I needed a supervisor. I found Minda, but she gave me a cold brush-off like supervisors at my old department did. Did you check in the knowledge center. You shouldn't be doing x, now go handle the call that you can't handle. On the subliminal level, they are saying "Don't talk to me. Go away." I ended up sending it to another department, on another planet, I'm guessing.
I took one call about alien clothing, which was a strange experience. I spoke to this guy that acted like a sissy when he didn't get his boots. And I mean a sissy. He didn't act manly at all about it. After that, I went to lunch and sat in the break room all by myself. Nothing new about that. I'm a loner. I've been eating alone for years before I came to Jupiter.
Being alone like that gave me a lot of time to think about things. I started to figure out I had feelings for these aliens, and I cared about them, and I really wanted to help them to get to this "Chisda" they spoke of.
Also, I realized that being in isolation tends to increase one's fear of abandonment.
I went back to the phones.
At the end of my shift, as I'm leaving my desk, both Sigma and Minda approach me and say that Jesus might be their religion's messiah,a nd they wanted him in their lives. And so, after telling Minda that she won't go to Beptot for rejecting Jesus since she came back, I asked them to apologize to my God and led them both into a conversion. Again.
Very awkward. I wasn't sure if this was what space aliens needed, but I felt better, I guess.
We did some studying then. They showed me the prophecies from their book and said it had to be Jesus and that's what made sense and it seemed plausible to me the way they said it. But I really didn't know their holy texts well enough to be certain.
Once we stopped for the evening, I had a workout and watched cable and went to the crew quarters.
As I was going to my bed, Sigma came up to me with another clear package. She pulls out the contents and I see it's a cape and some silky gray dress with elegant patterns stitched into it with red thread. She told me it would look good on me, but I said no.
As I was lying there in my bed, I heard banging sounds. I followed them to the bathroom, where I saw a male Abreya in person for the first time. His name was Wlodek. He had a gold pelt and wore a blue halter jumpsuit with harem pants. I wasn't too bothered by the outfit because I'd seen them wearing that on the hologram, but I still thought it was weird. The good thing part was that he was fixing the plumbing, which made me very pleased.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Crisis of faith
At the space station.
Monday morning I woke up early as usual. I "showered" with that brush thing, etc., because the plumbing still wasn't fixed, then went down to breakfast.
I found nobody in the break room. Figuring they were working, I got my breakfast and went up to start working myself. For the first part of my shift, I got a bunch of Onstar type calls.
I didn't mention it before, but having a "video phone" is both enlightening and distracting. For one thing, you can see everything within the window of the "camera". Everything. This is helpful when they want to tell you about something that words cannot adequately describe. However, there were also some unpleasant visuals I wished I hadn't seen, and at times I saw fascinating things in the background that made me lose focus on the task at hand. There were pets, babies and odd alien lifeforms that totally threw me off the topic of conversation when I saw them. And a couple times I almost screamed when I saw something creeping up behind the "caller." Another distraction was their manner of dress, or undress. Some people dressed up for the "camera". Others didn't seem to care about anything and wore slovenly, shabby clothes, dirty clothes, or next to nothing or literally nothing. But later I learned how to shut off the picture.
Anyways, I had a call about failing air equipment, a couple calls about malfunctioning alarm systems, and some others, then I had another guy asking for a supervisor. Something about broken refrigeration units. I tried the escalation line, but nobody answered, so I got up, looking around the ship to find help.
Minda was gone, and so was Sigma. I checked the conference room, the break rooms, the garden, I even shouted in the bathroom to see if I could get someone.
I eventually found them in the crew quarters, sitting on a bed and talking in their language. When I came in, they gave me a worried look, and they started asking me religious questions. I told them I had a supervisor call and would be happy to answer them later, but Minda said this couldn't wait and that nothing else is more important than this discussion.
Sigma clicked something on a computer she had and said the phones were shut down. Then the two asked me the questions again. I told them what I knew about my religion, but said that anything related to aliens was just guessing. They didn't care, so we had a long theological discussion. I found out that Minda had been having night terrors for some time and hadn't been telling anyone, and the night before, when I was asleep, she'd been crying out, enough to wake up Sigma. (I don't know what Sigma was doing sleeping in the crew quarters when she had a nicer bedroom up top, but whatever). It had woken her up, and she'd gotten worried for her friend. She seemed a little worried herself, but she seemed intent on trying to convince Minda that their god grades on a curve and that my religion is fine for my people but not for hers.
I found myself getting angry, despite the fact there wasn't any clear moral stance to take in this situation. They are space aliens, after all.
I fumed silently in frustration, my emotionally charged opinions thwarted by an absolute lack of concrete textual support.
So then Minda wants to pray and they wanted me to pray with them. I told them I wouldn't be doing that because my God gets angry when I pray in the names of other gods. She said Ponai is just another name of God, but I said people used that same line to argue for the worship of Buddha and Allah, and since those arguments are wrong, there was no reason for me to believe that hers was right. I said I needed to research her religion and check with my God to see if this were acceptable. But I said I'd watch them pray. So I did that.
They touched their fingers together in a funny way and voiced their concerns to Ponai in their own language, basically asking for guidance for them, and, oddly enough, for me, and they asked Ponai to use me for communicating his message, and provide guidance. Once done, they told me they'd check with some guy named "Wodov" and that I should go back to the phones. So I did.
I called the fire department for one caller, requested a repair of a hologram system for another, then contacted "animal control" for some guy that had bugs filling the ship from ceiling to floor.
I was waiting for (or perhaps dreading) some calls about that...whatever they were telling me about, but I didn't get any.
I took more calls and went to lunch.
I went down to the lunch room and saw Minda looking at me expectantly. I got my food, sitting down across from her, and she says she wants to be saved. As in what Christian groups mean by the expression. So I led her through the prayer and everything. I've never converted anyone, so it made me kind of happy. However, I kept wondering if it were the same as preaching the gospel to the Labrador retriever in my basement. Pistol doesn't talk, but I wasn't sure if God wanted me converting space aliens.
I told her some more about the Christian faith walk, then finished my lunch and went back to the phones.
After doing a name change on account for a customer, I had my first dealing with the call center Paparazzi. This Abreya guy, surrounded with weird equipment, asked me to smile, then started asking me all these questions unrelated to the job, like my romantic life. I didn't take too kindly to this and replied with ridiculous answers. The calls I had after that were relatively normal. A misdirected call about mechanical defects in a popular brand name spaceship, amperage issues on an electrified burglar trap, questions about food built in processing units.
I had one last call about payroll and then I was able to clock out for the day.
Monday morning I woke up early as usual. I "showered" with that brush thing, etc., because the plumbing still wasn't fixed, then went down to breakfast.
I found nobody in the break room. Figuring they were working, I got my breakfast and went up to start working myself. For the first part of my shift, I got a bunch of Onstar type calls.
I didn't mention it before, but having a "video phone" is both enlightening and distracting. For one thing, you can see everything within the window of the "camera". Everything. This is helpful when they want to tell you about something that words cannot adequately describe. However, there were also some unpleasant visuals I wished I hadn't seen, and at times I saw fascinating things in the background that made me lose focus on the task at hand. There were pets, babies and odd alien lifeforms that totally threw me off the topic of conversation when I saw them. And a couple times I almost screamed when I saw something creeping up behind the "caller." Another distraction was their manner of dress, or undress. Some people dressed up for the "camera". Others didn't seem to care about anything and wore slovenly, shabby clothes, dirty clothes, or next to nothing or literally nothing. But later I learned how to shut off the picture.
Anyways, I had a call about failing air equipment, a couple calls about malfunctioning alarm systems, and some others, then I had another guy asking for a supervisor. Something about broken refrigeration units. I tried the escalation line, but nobody answered, so I got up, looking around the ship to find help.
Minda was gone, and so was Sigma. I checked the conference room, the break rooms, the garden, I even shouted in the bathroom to see if I could get someone.
I eventually found them in the crew quarters, sitting on a bed and talking in their language. When I came in, they gave me a worried look, and they started asking me religious questions. I told them I had a supervisor call and would be happy to answer them later, but Minda said this couldn't wait and that nothing else is more important than this discussion.
Sigma clicked something on a computer she had and said the phones were shut down. Then the two asked me the questions again. I told them what I knew about my religion, but said that anything related to aliens was just guessing. They didn't care, so we had a long theological discussion. I found out that Minda had been having night terrors for some time and hadn't been telling anyone, and the night before, when I was asleep, she'd been crying out, enough to wake up Sigma. (I don't know what Sigma was doing sleeping in the crew quarters when she had a nicer bedroom up top, but whatever). It had woken her up, and she'd gotten worried for her friend. She seemed a little worried herself, but she seemed intent on trying to convince Minda that their god grades on a curve and that my religion is fine for my people but not for hers.
I found myself getting angry, despite the fact there wasn't any clear moral stance to take in this situation. They are space aliens, after all.
I fumed silently in frustration, my emotionally charged opinions thwarted by an absolute lack of concrete textual support.
So then Minda wants to pray and they wanted me to pray with them. I told them I wouldn't be doing that because my God gets angry when I pray in the names of other gods. She said Ponai is just another name of God, but I said people used that same line to argue for the worship of Buddha and Allah, and since those arguments are wrong, there was no reason for me to believe that hers was right. I said I needed to research her religion and check with my God to see if this were acceptable. But I said I'd watch them pray. So I did that.
They touched their fingers together in a funny way and voiced their concerns to Ponai in their own language, basically asking for guidance for them, and, oddly enough, for me, and they asked Ponai to use me for communicating his message, and provide guidance. Once done, they told me they'd check with some guy named "Wodov" and that I should go back to the phones. So I did.
I called the fire department for one caller, requested a repair of a hologram system for another, then contacted "animal control" for some guy that had bugs filling the ship from ceiling to floor.
I was waiting for (or perhaps dreading) some calls about that...whatever they were telling me about, but I didn't get any.
I took more calls and went to lunch.
I went down to the lunch room and saw Minda looking at me expectantly. I got my food, sitting down across from her, and she says she wants to be saved. As in what Christian groups mean by the expression. So I led her through the prayer and everything. I've never converted anyone, so it made me kind of happy. However, I kept wondering if it were the same as preaching the gospel to the Labrador retriever in my basement. Pistol doesn't talk, but I wasn't sure if God wanted me converting space aliens.
I told her some more about the Christian faith walk, then finished my lunch and went back to the phones.
After doing a name change on account for a customer, I had my first dealing with the call center Paparazzi. This Abreya guy, surrounded with weird equipment, asked me to smile, then started asking me all these questions unrelated to the job, like my romantic life. I didn't take too kindly to this and replied with ridiculous answers. The calls I had after that were relatively normal. A misdirected call about mechanical defects in a popular brand name spaceship, amperage issues on an electrified burglar trap, questions about food built in processing units.
I had one last call about payroll and then I was able to clock out for the day.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tarjay
Monday. Another great day at work at Tar-Jay. Read more here:
http://akktri.livejournal.com/639993.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/639993.html
Minda
My cable was out yesterday, so I couldn't post this until today.
I ended up just floating in front of the window, staring at Jupiter. It was very surreal to look at the moons slowly orbiting the place, and see the clouds and storms moving around. It's not like you can normally get a live feed of that sort of thing anywhere.
All of a sudden Minda is floating next to me and talking about how lovely the view was. It kind of startled me. I asked her if she was on a break or lunch and she said her shift was over. Since I looked confused, she said ours wasn't the only call center and that there's a big one on a planet called Pathilon.
She then asked me to pull up my sleeve so she could see my arm. I did that and she asked if she could touch it. I told her I guessed and she ran her hand over my arm and giggled and asked me to pull up my "pant" leg. She was making me nervous so I asked why. She said she'd never seen my kind in person and she wanted to know if I were truly as hairless as the people she saw on cable. I shrugged and pulled up a leg on the leggings to humor her. She giggles some more, then starts running her hand over my calf. The hand goes higher and I tell her to quit. Thankfully, she does, and she pulls her hand away, too.
One thing I could say for her is she was more respectful of boundaries than Sigma. That being said, she still had no tact. The moment she stops touching me, she asks to see my privates. I told her no and asked what made her think I'd even want to do that. Her response is that the people on cable did that sort of thing all the time, and she just wanted to see for herself that mine wasn't bifurcated like Abreya males. I asked her to change the subject.
She told me she'd never met a human before and was surprised that I wasn't a sex fiend like the people she saw in various programs. I told her she watches too much cable, and that seemed to quiet her for a moment, but then she asked if this were some sort of game and the sex came later. I told her no, I was serious, and told her to stop talking about it.
She asked me if I liked men, and I said no. She apologized for bringing up the subject again, but then asked me if I were a Puebuku. I asked her what that was and she said someone belonging to a religious order that takes a vow never to have sex.
I told her that pretty well describes me, but the right girl could change my mind, provided we share the same values and are married.
Her response? "You're an interesting person." And that's it.
Okay. I thought about it a minute, and decided I was grateful for such a normal, non-aggressive response.
We stared out the window quietly for a few minutes, then Minda asked if I'd ever heard of "Roalogi." I said I had not, so she took me to a computer and showed me a weird game. It's kind of hard to explain it, but it was kind of a shooting game. Shooting isn't quite the right word to describe it, since you don't use guns or bullets or laser beams, but it had projectiles of some sort, and you kind of made the projectile roll down a pipe inside a hole in your target. It was oddly addictive, and had really realistic graphics, though admittedly I didn't have those particular objects available for me to compare it to. I played this for a good hour or so. It was complicated, but Minda showed me how to operate everything.
We took turns playing the game, and as we did, she taught me some more about her language, some of the odd expressions and other nuances I couldn't pick up from a training module.
And cuss words, too. As my usual habit was to cuss at a game when it's too difficult, it rubbed off or something, and I heard her cussing, and she was telling me about her culture's curse words. I hope this doesn't ruin my customer service.
The game was hard to figure out, and it didn't have a plot, but after practicing for a few minutes, I at least could keep pace with it.
I guess she was somewhat impressed at my quick reflexes, because she asked me if I'd ever played the game before and what games I normally played.
I told her some things that were similar, and that video games are really a vice I keep trying to wean myself off of.
I started to get tired, so I went down to the sleeping quarters.
The uniform wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but I decided to keep it on for modesty and attempt to lay down on a bed.
She'd told me that the jellyfish things were beds, and how to use them, but used to laying on them. For one thing, instead of blankets, there were these flaps of translucent skin stuff. There were also tentacle things hanging off it, and you were supposed to sort of stick them together with its own secretions and you'd use that to keep yourself from drifting around the room when you slept.
I tried it, but I just laid there for a long time, tossing and turning and trying not to think about things that stressed me or kept me awake. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I somehow managed to eventually.
I ended up just floating in front of the window, staring at Jupiter. It was very surreal to look at the moons slowly orbiting the place, and see the clouds and storms moving around. It's not like you can normally get a live feed of that sort of thing anywhere.
All of a sudden Minda is floating next to me and talking about how lovely the view was. It kind of startled me. I asked her if she was on a break or lunch and she said her shift was over. Since I looked confused, she said ours wasn't the only call center and that there's a big one on a planet called Pathilon.
She then asked me to pull up my sleeve so she could see my arm. I did that and she asked if she could touch it. I told her I guessed and she ran her hand over my arm and giggled and asked me to pull up my "pant" leg. She was making me nervous so I asked why. She said she'd never seen my kind in person and she wanted to know if I were truly as hairless as the people she saw on cable. I shrugged and pulled up a leg on the leggings to humor her. She giggles some more, then starts running her hand over my calf. The hand goes higher and I tell her to quit. Thankfully, she does, and she pulls her hand away, too.
One thing I could say for her is she was more respectful of boundaries than Sigma. That being said, she still had no tact. The moment she stops touching me, she asks to see my privates. I told her no and asked what made her think I'd even want to do that. Her response is that the people on cable did that sort of thing all the time, and she just wanted to see for herself that mine wasn't bifurcated like Abreya males. I asked her to change the subject.
She told me she'd never met a human before and was surprised that I wasn't a sex fiend like the people she saw in various programs. I told her she watches too much cable, and that seemed to quiet her for a moment, but then she asked if this were some sort of game and the sex came later. I told her no, I was serious, and told her to stop talking about it.
She asked me if I liked men, and I said no. She apologized for bringing up the subject again, but then asked me if I were a Puebuku. I asked her what that was and she said someone belonging to a religious order that takes a vow never to have sex.
I told her that pretty well describes me, but the right girl could change my mind, provided we share the same values and are married.
Her response? "You're an interesting person." And that's it.
Okay. I thought about it a minute, and decided I was grateful for such a normal, non-aggressive response.
We stared out the window quietly for a few minutes, then Minda asked if I'd ever heard of "Roalogi." I said I had not, so she took me to a computer and showed me a weird game. It's kind of hard to explain it, but it was kind of a shooting game. Shooting isn't quite the right word to describe it, since you don't use guns or bullets or laser beams, but it had projectiles of some sort, and you kind of made the projectile roll down a pipe inside a hole in your target. It was oddly addictive, and had really realistic graphics, though admittedly I didn't have those particular objects available for me to compare it to. I played this for a good hour or so. It was complicated, but Minda showed me how to operate everything.
We took turns playing the game, and as we did, she taught me some more about her language, some of the odd expressions and other nuances I couldn't pick up from a training module.
And cuss words, too. As my usual habit was to cuss at a game when it's too difficult, it rubbed off or something, and I heard her cussing, and she was telling me about her culture's curse words. I hope this doesn't ruin my customer service.
The game was hard to figure out, and it didn't have a plot, but after practicing for a few minutes, I at least could keep pace with it.
I guess she was somewhat impressed at my quick reflexes, because she asked me if I'd ever played the game before and what games I normally played.
I told her some things that were similar, and that video games are really a vice I keep trying to wean myself off of.
I started to get tired, so I went down to the sleeping quarters.
The uniform wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but I decided to keep it on for modesty and attempt to lay down on a bed.
She'd told me that the jellyfish things were beds, and how to use them, but used to laying on them. For one thing, instead of blankets, there were these flaps of translucent skin stuff. There were also tentacle things hanging off it, and you were supposed to sort of stick them together with its own secretions and you'd use that to keep yourself from drifting around the room when you slept.
I tried it, but I just laid there for a long time, tossing and turning and trying not to think about things that stressed me or kept me awake. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I somehow managed to eventually.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Uniform
Since I just soaked my clothes and everything (actually her clothes), I asked her how I was supposed to clean up. She takes me to this room at the end of the hall, where I see toilets and showers. I ask what's wrong with them and she says the waste processing system isn't recycling like it's supposed to and it just ends up clogging and flooding the bathroom and she'll get someone to fix it in a few days. But she says there is one thing that works and she hands me this hose thing with a brush attachment. She said it's a little harsh, but I could use it to scrub clean for now. She washed my arm to demonstrate. You push a button and a spray comes out with soap, and at the same time a vacuum sucks the liquid back in.
She then says it's high time I get into uniform anyway. And she leaves the room.
It's quiet for awhile. All I hear is the droning hum of the ventilation system. I just kill time by looking around at everything, opening cabinets, looking in the showers, messing with the weird buttons.
I jump because I suddenly hear someone whistling. I go to a vertical tunnel to investigate but can't see anything.
Then Sigma comes in with a white plastic container. She opens the container and I see the "uniform", a green tunic with a gold logo on it, a plastic diaper and a pair of black leather leggings with no crotch.
I said "you've got to be kidding." I said this couldn't possibly be the uniform. But she said it was. I said I wasn't wearing it, but she said that in addition to it being required as part of my job, there are no toilets, we don't have breaks, and the tunic is branding. I said nobody will see me, but she reminded me that I can see people on the computer, so they can see me. I asked her if I could just wear the top and get some real pants or at least wear something over the diaper, but she said that was "impractical" and the thing she had was what people have been wearing for years. And plus she wanted her clothing back and didn't want me to ruin any more. I said that was an accident, but she said she didn't want any more accidents and to just wear what she gave me, and that it's a required uniform. She just floated there, with this expectant look on her face, not looking too happy. I asked her how she'd wash her clothes if the system's broken and she said the clothes washer worked. I didn't think I could climb into that, so I just stared at my "uniform" and weighed my options.
I needed a job. I was stuck on this ship. I hadn't seen a paycheck for my wacky little excursions yet, but I knew I was soggy and couldn't just go in her closet and get something else because I didn't know where her clothes were on that station. I finally said okay and took them. I told her to leave. She said the...whatever went over the...something and left.
There was sort of a privacy curtain there, so I drew it around myself, cleaned up, then put on that ridiculous outfit. I put the leggings over the diaper because I thought that was what you were supposed to do. When she came back in and saw me, she said it went the other way. There was a big enough hole on both sides for that to make sense, so I reluctantly went back behind the curtain and changed it around. After that she said it was time for me to work.
So we go back up to the cube farm, with me dressed in that ridiculous costume.
I thought I'd be safe from embarrassment, since I presumed it was just me and Sigma on the station, but I was wrong.
The moment we walked around the corner of the cubicles, this female with pink hair and pink fur comes floating up to me.
She had on a "uniform" like mine, but she wasn't wearing the leggings. Probably on account of having such hairy legs.
She looks at me and giggles, then we're introduced.
Sigma tells her who I am and we're introduced. The pink one's name was Minda, and I guess she'd been with the Dogos program for more than three years. Sigma explained how I was there to "fill in" for the sick people and says there will be plenty of time for us to get acquainted later. So Minda goes off and I'm led over to a cubicle.
It reminded me a lot of the cubes we had at GE Money Bank. Instead of the low type where you could see over the top, they had high walls where you couldn't see much of anything once you're sitting at one. The desk she picked for me was facing Jupiter, but I had to stand up to see it.
I had a desk, a hologram computer with a rock keyboard, and a leather office chair with a back support that clamps onto the desk like those safety bars on roller coasters.
Briefly, I considered asking for another desk, but I realized I still would have to turn around backwards to see Jupiter. So with a sigh, I buckled myself into the seat, activated the computer and wondered how bad it could be.
It was crazier than I expected. There was no lull between calls. As at NCO, I had 30 seconds to notate the account, and then bam, the next call comes in.
I still found it jarring to open up windows and put people on hold by rolling rocks around.
It's difficult to remember everything I did on the "phone" that first day, or the ones that followed, because the calls just kept coming.
I'll write what happened next some other time.
She then says it's high time I get into uniform anyway. And she leaves the room.
It's quiet for awhile. All I hear is the droning hum of the ventilation system. I just kill time by looking around at everything, opening cabinets, looking in the showers, messing with the weird buttons.
I jump because I suddenly hear someone whistling. I go to a vertical tunnel to investigate but can't see anything.
Then Sigma comes in with a white plastic container. She opens the container and I see the "uniform", a green tunic with a gold logo on it, a plastic diaper and a pair of black leather leggings with no crotch.
I said "you've got to be kidding." I said this couldn't possibly be the uniform. But she said it was. I said I wasn't wearing it, but she said that in addition to it being required as part of my job, there are no toilets, we don't have breaks, and the tunic is branding. I said nobody will see me, but she reminded me that I can see people on the computer, so they can see me. I asked her if I could just wear the top and get some real pants or at least wear something over the diaper, but she said that was "impractical" and the thing she had was what people have been wearing for years. And plus she wanted her clothing back and didn't want me to ruin any more. I said that was an accident, but she said she didn't want any more accidents and to just wear what she gave me, and that it's a required uniform. She just floated there, with this expectant look on her face, not looking too happy. I asked her how she'd wash her clothes if the system's broken and she said the clothes washer worked. I didn't think I could climb into that, so I just stared at my "uniform" and weighed my options.
I needed a job. I was stuck on this ship. I hadn't seen a paycheck for my wacky little excursions yet, but I knew I was soggy and couldn't just go in her closet and get something else because I didn't know where her clothes were on that station. I finally said okay and took them. I told her to leave. She said the...whatever went over the...something and left.
There was sort of a privacy curtain there, so I drew it around myself, cleaned up, then put on that ridiculous outfit. I put the leggings over the diaper because I thought that was what you were supposed to do. When she came back in and saw me, she said it went the other way. There was a big enough hole on both sides for that to make sense, so I reluctantly went back behind the curtain and changed it around. After that she said it was time for me to work.
So we go back up to the cube farm, with me dressed in that ridiculous costume.
I thought I'd be safe from embarrassment, since I presumed it was just me and Sigma on the station, but I was wrong.
The moment we walked around the corner of the cubicles, this female with pink hair and pink fur comes floating up to me.
She had on a "uniform" like mine, but she wasn't wearing the leggings. Probably on account of having such hairy legs.
She looks at me and giggles, then we're introduced.
Sigma tells her who I am and we're introduced. The pink one's name was Minda, and I guess she'd been with the Dogos program for more than three years. Sigma explained how I was there to "fill in" for the sick people and says there will be plenty of time for us to get acquainted later. So Minda goes off and I'm led over to a cubicle.
It reminded me a lot of the cubes we had at GE Money Bank. Instead of the low type where you could see over the top, they had high walls where you couldn't see much of anything once you're sitting at one. The desk she picked for me was facing Jupiter, but I had to stand up to see it.
I had a desk, a hologram computer with a rock keyboard, and a leather office chair with a back support that clamps onto the desk like those safety bars on roller coasters.
Briefly, I considered asking for another desk, but I realized I still would have to turn around backwards to see Jupiter. So with a sigh, I buckled myself into the seat, activated the computer and wondered how bad it could be.
It was crazier than I expected. There was no lull between calls. As at NCO, I had 30 seconds to notate the account, and then bam, the next call comes in.
I still found it jarring to open up windows and put people on hold by rolling rocks around.
It's difficult to remember everything I did on the "phone" that first day, or the ones that followed, because the calls just kept coming.
I'll write what happened next some other time.
Management party
I'm glad it's Friday and I can just relax from all the insanity.
Now that I'm at a different desk, I've been getting Target calls all the time, and there's more demand for me doing e-mails. I'm not complaining. Doing e-mails makes my day simpler because they can't talk back immediately. I basically did that for half the day.
For some reason, all the managers and team leads were in a meeting in the lunch room every day I went there. There was lots of food but I knew it wasn't for me. For reasons unexplained, they had a light-up Christmas tree on a table behind them. Not sure what that was about, but management was generally unavailable today.
Anyways, lots of crappy things happened when I got back on the phone, one of them being a guy wanting a discontinued Ipod delivered at an impossible speed. I told him I couldn't do that because we don't have it anymore, so he wanted a store credit, which I also couldn't do, then he asked for a refund. The catch was that we refund the method of payment and he used a giftcard he'd thrown out. So I filled out a form in my computer but I'm not sure it will work because it's not an order for a giftcard, it's an order placed with a giftcard. I requested to have the card deactivated and his credit card refunded, but I'm willing to bet money the stupid giftcard department will screw this up. I guess he won't be my problem anymore, though.
Another thing that sucked was this Mexican lady wanting items that were lost in the mail. It would have been simple to remedy but the system said something stupid like the billing address and shipping address don't coincide, which is illogical because they were the same ones that were used on the order. It's not like I was trying to send a replacement to a new address. It was the same friggin' address she put on the order. Horrible. I told her I'd try to get a team lead to fix it and e-mail her about a refund if I couldn't. Team lead couldn't do it, so she got a refund.
The rest of the calls were okay, I guess. I screwed up on a call because I was trying to notate an account and this lady starts rattling off her problem and I didn't get a word of it. Luckily she didn't notice how completely she'd been ignored, and, like a good little employee (good by my company's standards), I filled out two of those super complicated, pain in the ass calltag forms while I put her on hold instead of doing it while she was off the phone like I used to do them. Ideally, I should be able to fill out this form with the complexity of an IRS 1040 form while having a brilliant conversation with the woman and selling more things to her, but I'm not that wonderful, so hold prevents me from getting marked down for dead air.
For most the day I was slammed with Target calls. The only thing I could do between calls is mess with HSX because it's not important and I can pay full attention to the customer while messing with my stocks. For the most part I only had 30 seconds to breathe before the next call came in. Insane, but I suppose it's ordinary in comparison to what I've been doing.
I think I refunded and replaced stuff a lot more than I should have, but it served the purpose of greasing the wheels of the phone queue and made the day go by smoother.
Not much else of interest to report.
Now that I'm at a different desk, I've been getting Target calls all the time, and there's more demand for me doing e-mails. I'm not complaining. Doing e-mails makes my day simpler because they can't talk back immediately. I basically did that for half the day.
For some reason, all the managers and team leads were in a meeting in the lunch room every day I went there. There was lots of food but I knew it wasn't for me. For reasons unexplained, they had a light-up Christmas tree on a table behind them. Not sure what that was about, but management was generally unavailable today.
Anyways, lots of crappy things happened when I got back on the phone, one of them being a guy wanting a discontinued Ipod delivered at an impossible speed. I told him I couldn't do that because we don't have it anymore, so he wanted a store credit, which I also couldn't do, then he asked for a refund. The catch was that we refund the method of payment and he used a giftcard he'd thrown out. So I filled out a form in my computer but I'm not sure it will work because it's not an order for a giftcard, it's an order placed with a giftcard. I requested to have the card deactivated and his credit card refunded, but I'm willing to bet money the stupid giftcard department will screw this up. I guess he won't be my problem anymore, though.
Another thing that sucked was this Mexican lady wanting items that were lost in the mail. It would have been simple to remedy but the system said something stupid like the billing address and shipping address don't coincide, which is illogical because they were the same ones that were used on the order. It's not like I was trying to send a replacement to a new address. It was the same friggin' address she put on the order. Horrible. I told her I'd try to get a team lead to fix it and e-mail her about a refund if I couldn't. Team lead couldn't do it, so she got a refund.
The rest of the calls were okay, I guess. I screwed up on a call because I was trying to notate an account and this lady starts rattling off her problem and I didn't get a word of it. Luckily she didn't notice how completely she'd been ignored, and, like a good little employee (good by my company's standards), I filled out two of those super complicated, pain in the ass calltag forms while I put her on hold instead of doing it while she was off the phone like I used to do them. Ideally, I should be able to fill out this form with the complexity of an IRS 1040 form while having a brilliant conversation with the woman and selling more things to her, but I'm not that wonderful, so hold prevents me from getting marked down for dead air.
For most the day I was slammed with Target calls. The only thing I could do between calls is mess with HSX because it's not important and I can pay full attention to the customer while messing with my stocks. For the most part I only had 30 seconds to breathe before the next call came in. Insane, but I suppose it's ordinary in comparison to what I've been doing.
I think I refunded and replaced stuff a lot more than I should have, but it served the purpose of greasing the wheels of the phone queue and made the day go by smoother.
Not much else of interest to report.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Going in space
Okay, so back to what happened Saturday.
I had a few Cokes before I came onboard and I suddenly had to go. When I asked her where the restrooms were, she said "that reminds me. We've got to get you a uniform."
I told her I didn't understand the connection, but I had to pee. That's when she tells me the toilets are all broken and the company has provided special suits that absorb our waste and converts it to water and fertilizer packets. I said "like a stillsuit" and she smiles and says "exactly." I said no thanks and I'd go back to the ship, but she said someone named Mekilta took the ship to Titan while we were touring. I thought I could hold it awhile so I asked when she'd be back. She tells me Friday. Great. So an entire week of pissing in a stillsuit.
I said I never saw Mekilta, and she said she "was probably in the workout room when we came in and left through another tunnel". I told her I wanted to see for myself that the ship was gone, so she leads me back up to the dock where we came in, and she takes this white rubbery suit out of a compartment, handing it to me, along with a helmet. I asked her if that were my uniform, but she said it was a space suit so I put it on. She did the same. My bladder settled itself, so I said it was about time we tried a space walk.
We donned our helmets, and she opened the "airlock." Once there, she closed us in the chamber and hooked umbilicals to both our suits, and the opposite hatch came open.
The air around us blasted out, and I felt myself drifting.
I didn't see the ship we came in on, or that fleshy stuff. I crept forward, looking around the edge of the "airlock", and that was when I noticed things weren't right. I saw no ground. No floor. No scaffolding or any trappings of artificiality. Not satisfied, I found a railing with handholds and crept along the edge of the airlock, onto the outer hull.
About a yard or so away from the hatch, I looked around and I peed in the space suit. This wasn't earth. This thing was floating in the middle of nowhere, with big assed Jupiter looking like some kind of huge whale's mouth about to eat us. I was floating. I wasn't being pulled towards the earth like I would have been if I were in a plane flying in the upper atmosphere.
I freaked out and scrambled back in. Once we were back inside and had the door shut and the helmets off, she saw my expression and laughed at me. I told her I went in the space suit and she sighed and said she'd have to get someone to clean it.
I told her I believed her now, though. I believed everything.
I had a few Cokes before I came onboard and I suddenly had to go. When I asked her where the restrooms were, she said "that reminds me. We've got to get you a uniform."
I told her I didn't understand the connection, but I had to pee. That's when she tells me the toilets are all broken and the company has provided special suits that absorb our waste and converts it to water and fertilizer packets. I said "like a stillsuit" and she smiles and says "exactly." I said no thanks and I'd go back to the ship, but she said someone named Mekilta took the ship to Titan while we were touring. I thought I could hold it awhile so I asked when she'd be back. She tells me Friday. Great. So an entire week of pissing in a stillsuit.
I said I never saw Mekilta, and she said she "was probably in the workout room when we came in and left through another tunnel". I told her I wanted to see for myself that the ship was gone, so she leads me back up to the dock where we came in, and she takes this white rubbery suit out of a compartment, handing it to me, along with a helmet. I asked her if that were my uniform, but she said it was a space suit so I put it on. She did the same. My bladder settled itself, so I said it was about time we tried a space walk.
We donned our helmets, and she opened the "airlock." Once there, she closed us in the chamber and hooked umbilicals to both our suits, and the opposite hatch came open.
The air around us blasted out, and I felt myself drifting.
I didn't see the ship we came in on, or that fleshy stuff. I crept forward, looking around the edge of the "airlock", and that was when I noticed things weren't right. I saw no ground. No floor. No scaffolding or any trappings of artificiality. Not satisfied, I found a railing with handholds and crept along the edge of the airlock, onto the outer hull.
About a yard or so away from the hatch, I looked around and I peed in the space suit. This wasn't earth. This thing was floating in the middle of nowhere, with big assed Jupiter looking like some kind of huge whale's mouth about to eat us. I was floating. I wasn't being pulled towards the earth like I would have been if I were in a plane flying in the upper atmosphere.
I freaked out and scrambled back in. Once we were back inside and had the door shut and the helmets off, she saw my expression and laughed at me. I told her I went in the space suit and she sighed and said she'd have to get someone to clean it.
I told her I believed her now, though. I believed everything.
Space station tour
Sigma has a weird toilet on her ship. I didn't mention it before because it just looked like yet another wacky movie prop, but I've had to use it a few times before during my language training sessions. Sigma told me how to use it. On earth, it was fine because I could just go in the big cup and not have to do anything weird with the vacuum attachments. Well, since we were floating and I had to go, I actually had to use those attachments. If you know anything about astronauts, you'll know what I'm talking about. Anyways, I used it a couple times during the trip, and this is going to factor into the story later.
So we're at the "station". Sigma gets out of her chair and I follow her down a hallway to a hatch on one side of the room. She opens it and I see this fleshy bridge thing connecting to a metal airlock structure. She scans a badge through a device on the door and I'm looking at a carpeted hallway you'd see in an office building. She leads me in and starts playing tour guide.
We climb down the hallway on handlebars and footholds set in the walls and floor, and she shows me the break room, the main conference room, and the call center.
The call center was the most impressive, since the cube farm occupied the entire wing of the structure, and it had a huge window overlooking the planet Jupiter. She was right. Jupiter was so huge that I couldn't see anything else, even though that side of the building was just one big long window. I asked her how we weren't being sucked into Jupiter's gravitational pull and she just laughed at me.
I didn't see anyone there. Not a single person at the desks or anywhere else. I asked her why that was and she said they were out sick. I guess they had some sort of space crud. I forget what she called it, but I guess it wasn't fatal. She said they were at another base recovering.
She showed me another conference room, then we went down a vertical tube tunnel to another carpeted room. She showed me a gym (which we had to use to avoid atrophy), our "sleeping quarters" (more jellyfish beds), and another break room.
This break room "upstairs" was a bit small, but this one was more like the lunch room at NCO, roughly the size of one and a half semi trailers. Okay, not that big, but close. Like everywhere else, the tables were bolted to the floor and there were seatbelts on the magnetized chairs. I was surprised to see vending machines, but they basically contained nothing but blue Fanta soda, flavored water, and thin diet pretzels. That's it. Row upon row of them. I wondered who put those machines in, who's rotating stock, and who's buying. I still don't have the answer to that.
On the sides of the break room were two "gardens". She showed me those next. They were basically greenhouses equipped with lamps and sprayers, and they only seemed to contain one or two different types of plants. They weren't the type of plant I've ever seen before. They reminded me of sea plants, like anemone more than anything, but they had mouths and eyes and lots of wiggling tendrils. One of the "gardens" contained a farm and I got to see "Zufa" firsthand.
They were gray and they had no eyes on their heads, only a proboscis. They had tails like puppy dogs and claws like lobsters. They sat in stacked cages like some PETA unfriendly chicken farm, but I didn't feel sorry for them. I just thought they'd be too fatty without them exercising.
She showed me the freezer, and then we looked around the garden some more.
I sketched the layout on one of the work handouts I was given. It looked like this:(
Picture here)
The circles with the X's on them are the tunnels we used to go from one chamber on the ship to the other.
Second day back
When I came in today, they decided to play musical desks on me again. Apparently some call monitors were going to be moved in or something. I had to search the office area for another computer. I signed into it, downloaded the stuff from my other computer, only to notice that the calls were coming in and then they'd just hang up again. I was messing around with my settings and stuff so I didn't notice it until it said "after call". I moved to another computer after telling the phone control guy about it, and it happened again. I told him it could be CSC, and then he tells me to put in my new extension number. Apparently the system was making the phone at the other desk ring, and hang up. That sucks. I killed about twenty minutes trying to find a desk and figure it out, and bothered Arthea, who looked really sick or tired or something, and worse, I didn't get paid for it because I wasn't logged in the phone.
It seems that you end up doing mostly one company, depending on where you sit in the office. I must have been sitting on the Target side. However, I only did a few calls before the phone guy sent me a bunch of Lacoste e-mails that took the rest of the time up until break.
When I got back, I took some calls, but after awhile Elliott sent me another slew of e-mails, and that concluded my work day.
It seems that you end up doing mostly one company, depending on where you sit in the office. I must have been sitting on the Target side. However, I only did a few calls before the phone guy sent me a bunch of Lacoste e-mails that took the rest of the time up until break.
When I got back, I took some calls, but after awhile Elliott sent me another slew of e-mails, and that concluded my work day.
Men's skirts
I think I had an allergic reaction to either the soap or her hair because I kept itching. I told her about this and she said sorry, but she didn't have any other soap.
She then started talking about why she didn't understand why earth men had such a problem with wearing things like skirts and other things I saw in that box. I told her there were Deuteronomic commands against wearing women's clothing and I was probably breaking it now and wouldn't have if she'd told me about the compartment. She said that was a disposal chute and then started talking about how men wore kilts. I argued that was different but she kept saying it wasn't, that males on her planet think it's perfectly fine to wear skirts and they're not gay or anything. I argued that the colors are not manly, so she argued that Korean men wear colorful robes for ceremonies and it's no different, and plus she picked read and green instead of pink. She said it "was only fabric." And then she said that it's not comfortable for her people to wear a lot of clothes and her people have tails, so skirts can be ideal. I argued that I didn't have a tail so the point is moot. She kept going at it, so I gave up.
I watched cable some more. She told me there wasn't much earth food on the "station" and that it's "good that I have my implant." I asked how could that be when we're only a few miles from earth, so she says the station has better refrigeration than earth and there's a freezer that contains enough food to feed a hundred people for three years. I asked her how many people were onboard and she said barely a sixteenth of that amount, and that they had a farm of sorts onboard as well. And she offhandedly mentions that nobody on board likes earth food.
I asked her if I could take a look outside. I'd been too angry to think about it before, but now that I had eaten something and had clothes on, even if they weren't a good fit, I was feeling better, so I asked. She took me down the hallway to a round chamber with a single chair in the center. The room was pretty well featureless except for that chair, which had all kinds of devices attached to it, I presume for controlling the ship.
The walls all displayed a view of space. I figured they were either monitors or some type of glass.
Apparently we were already close to to Jupiter. I could see it up ahead. It was huge, and Sigma told me it wasn't even that close to us. She said that it fills up the entire office window and you can see all the storms and satellites moving around. I said it sounded cool.
Then out of the blue she starts asking me these religious questions. Kind of awkward to be talking about that dressed in women's clothing but I tried not to think of it. She asked me what good my faith was when I behaved more or less like other people she knew with no religious convictions. I briefly explained the whole thing about how my religion is for lost sinners and how the Great Physician came to earth to heal the spiritually sick, not the "healthy", and that there's a comfort, and a peace in that. That made her quiet. She finally asked why I followed some of the rules but not others, like hitting people and calling them bad names and cussing, but I refused to sleep with her or wear a skirt. So I gave her a short speech about how the Christian faith walk was a contradiction, that we're in constant need of grace and of the Holy Spirit to guide us in righteous actions that we ourselves don't have the power to perform. At that point I felt compelled to say I was sorry, and I said I hoped she'd forgive me, as I'd be asking Jesus for forgiveness as well. I basically did that to "pitch a sale" so to speak, and to sort of cover over the fact I contradicted my own words I'd said to her a few days ago about loving my neighbor and all that.
She was quiet again, and we just watched Jupiter get closer.
She then started talking about why she didn't understand why earth men had such a problem with wearing things like skirts and other things I saw in that box. I told her there were Deuteronomic commands against wearing women's clothing and I was probably breaking it now and wouldn't have if she'd told me about the compartment. She said that was a disposal chute and then started talking about how men wore kilts. I argued that was different but she kept saying it wasn't, that males on her planet think it's perfectly fine to wear skirts and they're not gay or anything. I argued that the colors are not manly, so she argued that Korean men wear colorful robes for ceremonies and it's no different, and plus she picked read and green instead of pink. She said it "was only fabric." And then she said that it's not comfortable for her people to wear a lot of clothes and her people have tails, so skirts can be ideal. I argued that I didn't have a tail so the point is moot. She kept going at it, so I gave up.
I watched cable some more. She told me there wasn't much earth food on the "station" and that it's "good that I have my implant." I asked how could that be when we're only a few miles from earth, so she says the station has better refrigeration than earth and there's a freezer that contains enough food to feed a hundred people for three years. I asked her how many people were onboard and she said barely a sixteenth of that amount, and that they had a farm of sorts onboard as well. And she offhandedly mentions that nobody on board likes earth food.
I asked her if I could take a look outside. I'd been too angry to think about it before, but now that I had eaten something and had clothes on, even if they weren't a good fit, I was feeling better, so I asked. She took me down the hallway to a round chamber with a single chair in the center. The room was pretty well featureless except for that chair, which had all kinds of devices attached to it, I presume for controlling the ship.
The walls all displayed a view of space. I figured they were either monitors or some type of glass.
Apparently we were already close to to Jupiter. I could see it up ahead. It was huge, and Sigma told me it wasn't even that close to us. She said that it fills up the entire office window and you can see all the storms and satellites moving around. I said it sounded cool.
Then out of the blue she starts asking me these religious questions. Kind of awkward to be talking about that dressed in women's clothing but I tried not to think of it. She asked me what good my faith was when I behaved more or less like other people she knew with no religious convictions. I briefly explained the whole thing about how my religion is for lost sinners and how the Great Physician came to earth to heal the spiritually sick, not the "healthy", and that there's a comfort, and a peace in that. That made her quiet. She finally asked why I followed some of the rules but not others, like hitting people and calling them bad names and cussing, but I refused to sleep with her or wear a skirt. So I gave her a short speech about how the Christian faith walk was a contradiction, that we're in constant need of grace and of the Holy Spirit to guide us in righteous actions that we ourselves don't have the power to perform. At that point I felt compelled to say I was sorry, and I said I hoped she'd forgive me, as I'd be asking Jesus for forgiveness as well. I basically did that to "pitch a sale" so to speak, and to sort of cover over the fact I contradicted my own words I'd said to her a few days ago about loving my neighbor and all that.
She was quiet again, and we just watched Jupiter get closer.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Zufa
After she took a shower herself, she cooked me supper, and it was pretty much like I expected. Gray hairy crab legs, some leftover meatloaf, and something like caviar. Since I couldn't care less about being poisoned or drugged at this point, I ate everything on my plate.
She called that gray stuff "Zufa" and it was halfway decent. It wasn't what I expected, but it was all right. The closest thing I could compare it to is pork mixed with candy and thousand island salad dressing. That's not accurate, but it's kind of what it was like. The caviar tasted, well, like caviar, with sort of a cheese flavor. I only ate the stuff because I was hungry.
While I ate, she told me stuff about the job. She said we're required to wear uniforms on the station, and that the station is fairly large and you could actually see outside. She said we were in a shuttle and that's why it had no windows. She said the station is powered by solar energy and gravitational power generated by Jupiter and that the break rooms get all the channels because we're up in space where the satellites are.
She also told me about some new policies, like how there aren't any breaks, only a fifteen minute lunch and that the caller needs to scan their identification into the computer before I can assist them with their locked spaceship.
The break thing caught me off guard. I asked her what happened if I had to go to the bathroom, being there's no "health breaks" or breaks period, and she just said "I'd learn more about that when I got onboard". Whatever. I figured I didn't have a choice, but I could probably find some wiggle room somewhere.
We got done eating and I went back to watching HBO on the hologram. Since we weren't talking, she made bad attempts at conversation. She asked me what I thought about my coworkers at BBL. I gave her a guarded response, so she asked me if I had any prejudices against race.
I said I was okay with black people, and as a Christian I have to love people of all races, but certain customers get on my phone and give the whole African American race a bad name.
She tells me that her people are discriminated against by the color of their fur. That made me laugh, but she was serious. She said it was difficult for the green people to get work. Okay. Sure. That's great. I'm wearing your clothes and a bikini because you made me throw out all my stuff and ruined my food and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you.
She asked me if I liked her fur color and I said it was okay.
She called that gray stuff "Zufa" and it was halfway decent. It wasn't what I expected, but it was all right. The closest thing I could compare it to is pork mixed with candy and thousand island salad dressing. That's not accurate, but it's kind of what it was like. The caviar tasted, well, like caviar, with sort of a cheese flavor. I only ate the stuff because I was hungry.
While I ate, she told me stuff about the job. She said we're required to wear uniforms on the station, and that the station is fairly large and you could actually see outside. She said we were in a shuttle and that's why it had no windows. She said the station is powered by solar energy and gravitational power generated by Jupiter and that the break rooms get all the channels because we're up in space where the satellites are.
She also told me about some new policies, like how there aren't any breaks, only a fifteen minute lunch and that the caller needs to scan their identification into the computer before I can assist them with their locked spaceship.
The break thing caught me off guard. I asked her what happened if I had to go to the bathroom, being there's no "health breaks" or breaks period, and she just said "I'd learn more about that when I got onboard". Whatever. I figured I didn't have a choice, but I could probably find some wiggle room somewhere.
We got done eating and I went back to watching HBO on the hologram. Since we weren't talking, she made bad attempts at conversation. She asked me what I thought about my coworkers at BBL. I gave her a guarded response, so she asked me if I had any prejudices against race.
I said I was okay with black people, and as a Christian I have to love people of all races, but certain customers get on my phone and give the whole African American race a bad name.
She tells me that her people are discriminated against by the color of their fur. That made me laugh, but she was serious. She said it was difficult for the green people to get work. Okay. Sure. That's great. I'm wearing your clothes and a bikini because you made me throw out all my stuff and ruined my food and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you.
She asked me if I liked her fur color and I said it was okay.
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