Monday came and I was still stuck there.
I was fed up and frustrated and wanted to go home. I climbed up to Sigma, demanding that she get me out of there. I couldn't really stomp up to her since I was floating, but I wanted to.
She just told me to relax, and that the ship would arrive that evening. I told her I'd expected it Saturday and Sunday, but she said she never made that promise, but that it definitely would show up that evening. She didn't know exactly when.
So I waited.
I went about my usual duties.
At lunch, I asked Minda about the ship. She said it would arrive that evening.
I asked her if she had anything like a sabbath on her planet and she said yes, it was just different in space, especially with so many out sick. She said there was normally someone there to relieve you so that you can rest and do whatever while other people work. It sounded like a factory schedule to me.
I had nothing but clothing calls that day. The end of my shift came and no spaceship.
In the call center, in front of Jupiter, Minda taught me a song from her religion, and translated it for me. I still wasn't comfortable singing it, so I modified it with my own words about Jesus and sang it that way.
She seemed a bit offended at first, but then she started singing it with me, and Sigma joined in.
After that, we played a modified version of that game with the scoops, worked out on the exercise equipment, then watched cable in the break room.
While we were sitting there, Minda asked me if I meant all that stuff I said to her a couple nights ago.
I asked her what I said, and she said I told her about my feelings for her, how I found her physically attractive and might even love her in more than the agape sense.
I told her I was drunk, but I said I kinda did like her a lot.
So then she's snuggling up close and wrapping her tail around me. We just watched TV, with her purring on my shoulder.
After awhile, we played some alien board games, then I went to my own bed. Minda asked me if she could lay beside me, but I said it wouldn't be a good idea, and besides the bed is too small, so that was that.
Showing posts with label customer service. Show all posts
Showing posts with label customer service. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
The conflict begins
As I was climbing my way to the workout room, Sigma stopped me and gave me this long lecture on how I was wrong to convert her friend. I told her she'd asked for it and I had no idea if it were the right thing to do. I just did it because she asked. She said that, because of me, Minda wasn't going to Chisda, her version of heaven. So I repeated the fact that I'd been asked to do that, and it really wasn't my decision. She argued that I taught her all that stuff and so it was supposedly my fault. I told her I believed people had something called a free will, and that it allows them to make wise decisions and poor decisions alike, and that I never once threatened her to do anything. So she sighed and went away, and I had my workout.
After that, I had a study session with Minda. We read through her holy text and read from the bible and talked about them both. She found some interesting prophecies in the Gaxea, stuff that could be construed to mean Jesus, but I pointed out that they could be interpreted to mean other people as well. She said nobody else really fit the bill, so I wasn't sure what to make of that.
Halfway through our study session, Sigma came in, looking angry. She told me to stop teaching "my myths" to Minda, and that she could fire me for creating a hostile work environment. I told her it's not my fault, Minda was just curious. So she asked to speak with me privately.
So Minda leaves the room and she tells me to convince Minda not to believe in Jesus, and that she'll really fire me if I keep this up. I told her that really sounded like religious discrimination, and said I couldn't do anything about it. I was a bit gleeful at turning the tables on her, but I tried to hide my emotions so that things wouldn't get worse. I told her firing me wouldn't change Minda's mind, but only reinforce her convictions, so she floated off in a fuming snort.
I went back to studying with Minda. She was so obsessed with her spiritual crisis that she didn't want to do anything but search for answers, so I didn't do anything but study with her until bedtime.
Up to now, I hadn't brushed my teeth or flossed at all, and it's been about two days. I asked Minda if she had anything like a toothbrush onboard, and she takes out this small device.
It looks like a crab. Some kind of robot or something. I watch her stick it in her mouth and it pokes and drills and sprays like a miniature dentist.
She takes another one out of storage and hands it to me.
When I tried the thing, it started stabbing my tongue so I had to pull it out. Minda quickly reprogrammed it and it worked fine after that. Better than a toothbrush any day.
I got into my "jogging pants" and went to sleep.
After that, I had a study session with Minda. We read through her holy text and read from the bible and talked about them both. She found some interesting prophecies in the Gaxea, stuff that could be construed to mean Jesus, but I pointed out that they could be interpreted to mean other people as well. She said nobody else really fit the bill, so I wasn't sure what to make of that.
Halfway through our study session, Sigma came in, looking angry. She told me to stop teaching "my myths" to Minda, and that she could fire me for creating a hostile work environment. I told her it's not my fault, Minda was just curious. So she asked to speak with me privately.
So Minda leaves the room and she tells me to convince Minda not to believe in Jesus, and that she'll really fire me if I keep this up. I told her that really sounded like religious discrimination, and said I couldn't do anything about it. I was a bit gleeful at turning the tables on her, but I tried to hide my emotions so that things wouldn't get worse. I told her firing me wouldn't change Minda's mind, but only reinforce her convictions, so she floated off in a fuming snort.
I went back to studying with Minda. She was so obsessed with her spiritual crisis that she didn't want to do anything but search for answers, so I didn't do anything but study with her until bedtime.
Up to now, I hadn't brushed my teeth or flossed at all, and it's been about two days. I asked Minda if she had anything like a toothbrush onboard, and she takes out this small device.
It looks like a crab. Some kind of robot or something. I watch her stick it in her mouth and it pokes and drills and sprays like a miniature dentist.
She takes another one out of storage and hands it to me.
When I tried the thing, it started stabbing my tongue so I had to pull it out. Minda quickly reprogrammed it and it worked fine after that. Better than a toothbrush any day.
I got into my "jogging pants" and went to sleep.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
An alien routine
The second day there, I woke up, and did what I had to because we didn't have working toilets. They said they'd have them repaired on Wednesday, so I had to make do until then. At least they were telling the truth about them being like a stillsuit so I didn't have to sit in it.
I probably slept six hours or less. I went to the big break room in search of breakfast. I found no one there. I looked upstairs, in the other break room and the conference room and the call center, then when I found nobody there I went back down and found Sigma waiting at a table. She was wearing a "uniform", but with a red tunic. She had a box for me, with that alien stuff in it. I went ahead and ate it. As I was eating, she asked me if I'd ever looked at porn. I told her I used to a long time ago, but I care too much about God to do that anymore.
She asked me what was wrong with it if you didn't actually do anything with the person in the picture, so I told her it was a sin of the heart.
Because she asked, I told her more details about my religious beliefs, including some things that I thought were obvious to just about everyone on earth.
It was Sunday, but she said I was working that day, and I would work until I returned to earth. I sighed and said fine.
Once I got done eating, I went upstairs and worked. This story is going long anyway so I'll spare all the details.
Sigma showed me how to use the scheduler to figure out when my lunch and work times were, so I was able to go to lunch exactly when the thing said to instead of having to wait for someone to tell me.
I went down to the break room kind of wondering where the food would come from. When I got there, Minda was at a table, eating, and she showed me the compartment where I could get food from.
I got my lunch and ate. I think she was nearing the end of her lunch, but she sat with me, and started asking more personal questions. Like if I had a girlfriend.
I told her I didn't, explaining that I'd that I've dealt with so many bitchy, emotionally manipulative women at Target and BBL that I avoid looking for women for fear of having to deal with one 24-7.
I told her that if women were like ninety percent of the customers I talked to at Target and BBL, I'd rather not marry.
She laughed and said "not all of us are like that." I told her that Mennonites and some hillbillies, and probably some ugly women are exceptions, but other than that, I wasn't ready for someone that looks pretty on the outside but unmasks her ugly interior self when she doesn't get her way.
She asked me if she was different. I said possibly, if she could prove to me that women aren't the same throughout the galaxy.
I told her how she made me uncomfortable the day before, and that she watches stuff that I consider immoral. But I told her I was fine with being friends.
We talked about some other things, about my social life, and that in comparison to other human beings, and earth culture in general, then Minda pointed to an electronic display and asked me when my lunch ended.
Since I'd studied the language enough, I figured out the readout was saying I was late and hurried back to my computer.
I went back to the phones for awhile, taking more calls. I discovered the supervisor transfer line and sent a few calls there when they got bad. I don't think I was doing a great job, but I figured I was doing good enough, and my previous experience in customer service didn't hurt.
The hours went by quickly due to the constant stream of calls and the complicated and sometimes frustrating nature of some of the problems, and customers.
Halfway close to the so-called "end of shift" on the scheduler (it's impossible to reckon time very accurately in space since 4:00 only means something if you know where the sun is supposed to be), Sigma floats up to me, telling me to go into meeting mode and to come with her to the conference room. I told her there wasn't anyone but Minda here, but I went into meeting and got out of my chair. She said that the chairs in the meeting room are better, so I followed her into the room.
So I followed her into the conference room. She was right. The chairs were more comfortable.
She told me they'd opened up a new division, and asked what I thought about selling Abreya clothes.
I asked her if she were kidding and she said no. Apparently there was this company called Uryanzor on her planet, and they sold apparel kind of like the stuff from that box she showed me. Men's skirts and all that.
She said if I didn't have a problem with it, she'd send some of those calls to me. I asked her how she could do that if we're being slammed with the other calls, and she said she had other call centers, and I wouldn't be doing that many.
Then I asked if I had to learn a new system, and she said yes, and I could start training at the end of my shift.
I kind of said I'd do it and that was that. I did more calls, and my shift ended.
I found Sigma working the phones, oddly enough. Knowing what I knew about her language, I figured out she was doing supervisor calls.
When she got done with the one she was on, and I had gotten an earful, she noticed me and showed me what programs to use in my computer to do training.
This was little different. There were modules for me to get acquainted with the company, the demographic, and the product itself. There was an inventory database, but a lot more sophisticated than Bebe's 360 tool. This one had a name search, so you were only limited by your vocabulary, and it had pictures.
You could put in vague words like "black dress" and "bag with the frills on the side" and it would find something. Not only that, but it actually asked you for clarifications if it was too vague.
If the same thing could be done in English in the 360 tool, the program communication would be something like this:
ME: Black dress with ruffles on the side
COMPUTER: Does this dress have shoulder straps?
ME: (Talks with customer) No
COMPUTER: What material is it made of?
ME: Satin or silk
COMPUTER: What year was it released?
ME: Not sure
COMPUTER: Was it released this year?
ME: (Checks with customer) Yes
COMPUTER: How much did it cost?
ME: Around $150
COMPUTER: It is either the Cassandra Slinky Dress (SKU 423423) or the Shimmery Satin Diva Dress (SKU 232342).
And it shows a picture of each one. And the prods prevent it from pulling up a hundred.
So it's got a sophisticated AI system, and it's not as stupid as the ones I've been using. The more I tried it, the more I sort of figured out the AI was telling me it was out of stock because it didn't have the info, but it made the job a lot easier.
Not only that, but I can show the picture to them, because it's a "video phone."
I learned some other programs, then I could relax and recuperate from all the craziness for awhile.
Sort of.
I probably slept six hours or less. I went to the big break room in search of breakfast. I found no one there. I looked upstairs, in the other break room and the conference room and the call center, then when I found nobody there I went back down and found Sigma waiting at a table. She was wearing a "uniform", but with a red tunic. She had a box for me, with that alien stuff in it. I went ahead and ate it. As I was eating, she asked me if I'd ever looked at porn. I told her I used to a long time ago, but I care too much about God to do that anymore.
She asked me what was wrong with it if you didn't actually do anything with the person in the picture, so I told her it was a sin of the heart.
Because she asked, I told her more details about my religious beliefs, including some things that I thought were obvious to just about everyone on earth.
It was Sunday, but she said I was working that day, and I would work until I returned to earth. I sighed and said fine.
Once I got done eating, I went upstairs and worked. This story is going long anyway so I'll spare all the details.
Sigma showed me how to use the scheduler to figure out when my lunch and work times were, so I was able to go to lunch exactly when the thing said to instead of having to wait for someone to tell me.
I went down to the break room kind of wondering where the food would come from. When I got there, Minda was at a table, eating, and she showed me the compartment where I could get food from.
I got my lunch and ate. I think she was nearing the end of her lunch, but she sat with me, and started asking more personal questions. Like if I had a girlfriend.
I told her I didn't, explaining that I'd that I've dealt with so many bitchy, emotionally manipulative women at Target and BBL that I avoid looking for women for fear of having to deal with one 24-7.
I told her that if women were like ninety percent of the customers I talked to at Target and BBL, I'd rather not marry.
She laughed and said "not all of us are like that." I told her that Mennonites and some hillbillies, and probably some ugly women are exceptions, but other than that, I wasn't ready for someone that looks pretty on the outside but unmasks her ugly interior self when she doesn't get her way.
She asked me if she was different. I said possibly, if she could prove to me that women aren't the same throughout the galaxy.
I told her how she made me uncomfortable the day before, and that she watches stuff that I consider immoral. But I told her I was fine with being friends.
We talked about some other things, about my social life, and that in comparison to other human beings, and earth culture in general, then Minda pointed to an electronic display and asked me when my lunch ended.
Since I'd studied the language enough, I figured out the readout was saying I was late and hurried back to my computer.
I went back to the phones for awhile, taking more calls. I discovered the supervisor transfer line and sent a few calls there when they got bad. I don't think I was doing a great job, but I figured I was doing good enough, and my previous experience in customer service didn't hurt.
The hours went by quickly due to the constant stream of calls and the complicated and sometimes frustrating nature of some of the problems, and customers.
Halfway close to the so-called "end of shift" on the scheduler (it's impossible to reckon time very accurately in space since 4:00 only means something if you know where the sun is supposed to be), Sigma floats up to me, telling me to go into meeting mode and to come with her to the conference room. I told her there wasn't anyone but Minda here, but I went into meeting and got out of my chair. She said that the chairs in the meeting room are better, so I followed her into the room.
So I followed her into the conference room. She was right. The chairs were more comfortable.
She told me they'd opened up a new division, and asked what I thought about selling Abreya clothes.
I asked her if she were kidding and she said no. Apparently there was this company called Uryanzor on her planet, and they sold apparel kind of like the stuff from that box she showed me. Men's skirts and all that.
She said if I didn't have a problem with it, she'd send some of those calls to me. I asked her how she could do that if we're being slammed with the other calls, and she said she had other call centers, and I wouldn't be doing that many.
Then I asked if I had to learn a new system, and she said yes, and I could start training at the end of my shift.
I kind of said I'd do it and that was that. I did more calls, and my shift ended.
I found Sigma working the phones, oddly enough. Knowing what I knew about her language, I figured out she was doing supervisor calls.
When she got done with the one she was on, and I had gotten an earful, she noticed me and showed me what programs to use in my computer to do training.
This was little different. There were modules for me to get acquainted with the company, the demographic, and the product itself. There was an inventory database, but a lot more sophisticated than Bebe's 360 tool. This one had a name search, so you were only limited by your vocabulary, and it had pictures.
You could put in vague words like "black dress" and "bag with the frills on the side" and it would find something. Not only that, but it actually asked you for clarifications if it was too vague.
If the same thing could be done in English in the 360 tool, the program communication would be something like this:
ME: Black dress with ruffles on the side
COMPUTER: Does this dress have shoulder straps?
ME: (Talks with customer) No
COMPUTER: What material is it made of?
ME: Satin or silk
COMPUTER: What year was it released?
ME: Not sure
COMPUTER: Was it released this year?
ME: (Checks with customer) Yes
COMPUTER: How much did it cost?
ME: Around $150
COMPUTER: It is either the Cassandra Slinky Dress (SKU 423423) or the Shimmery Satin Diva Dress (SKU 232342).
And it shows a picture of each one. And the prods prevent it from pulling up a hundred.
So it's got a sophisticated AI system, and it's not as stupid as the ones I've been using. The more I tried it, the more I sort of figured out the AI was telling me it was out of stock because it didn't have the info, but it made the job a lot easier.
Not only that, but I can show the picture to them, because it's a "video phone."
I learned some other programs, then I could relax and recuperate from all the craziness for awhile.
Sort of.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tarjay
Monday. Another great day at work at Tar-Jay. Read more here:
http://akktri.livejournal.com/639993.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/639993.html
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Jupiter call center
After a couple calls, I noticed a sound like water running over rocks in a stream, and soft chirping noises. I looked over and saw Minda in the desk five cubicles away from me. I kept staring at her, probably because she was the only one in the whole place besides Sigma, she was amazingly quick with that weird keyboard, and I thought she was kind of cute. I sat there wondering if she were more polite and civilized than her boss.
I was fine for about six calls. It was relatively simple to verify the required details to open up Vunlid's, Qufdams, and Dagmivos (apparently the three major types of vessel preferred by most of my customers). I got some stares, but other than that no one really seemed to care what I looked like. But then I got a difficult call.
The guy was naked and locked out of a Wivaren (he loved how I pronounced it, by the way). He knew his name and the ID issued by his country's government, but he didn't know the names of the owner's relatives on the file, his payment card number, the answer to the security question, or his "Firbo" address. (The last one needs explaining. Firbo is something these aliens use instead of e-mail. It's not quite the same. I tried it out. You kind of talk to it, for one thing, and it's not arranged according to the concept of postal mail (the icons make no sense to me).
Anyways, he didn't have any of that, but he was outside naked and he said I should let him in because the ship is an old piece of junk and doesn't deserve such security. When I said I couldn't do that, he yelled for a supervisor. I tried to at least get him to ask twice for one, then put him on hold.
I couldn't find Sigma anywhere in the call center, so I climbed my way down to Minda.
I tapped her on the shoulder. The moment I started talking, she held up a hand like she were on a call, but there wasn't a call. Then she's like "Hold on! Wait! Wait!" And I wait, and she wiggles in her chair and looks like she's relieving herself. She farts, and I'm pretty sure she did relieve herself. Oh lovely.
She asked me to continue, so I do, after taking a moment to recover from the shock and disgust. I described the problem and she told me to just hang up.
I said "really?" And she said yes. I asked her if I'd get in trouble and she said no, not if he's naked. So I did.
I got a call about servicing scientific equipment, so I ordered a repair. Then I ordered repairs on faulty weapon systems for a couple people, spoke to some guy calling about a missed shipment of Wusu seed (wrong number), and handled some other stuff.
I had two more calls after those, then another problem happened. This guy's air equipment was failing and he was out in the middle of space somewhere. He was rattling his information off so fast that I couldn't find his account. I guess I don't blame him for being so upset, but it was difficult to help him when he was like that. Not only that, but our system couldn't bring his air system back on. I tried it. Several times. It gave me an error message and wouldn't cooperate. I told him there wasn't anything else I could do, and he told me it might be because it's a problem that needed to be fixed manually and he wanted me to send him a repairman. Actually, he demanded that I send him a repairman.
I tried to request one, but the system told me he hadn't paid his contract for three months and so was not covered under the service program. I discovered this when I tried to request service. So he called for a supervisor.
I went to see Minda again, explaining the situation. She said we really can't help him. She said it was "tough but fair" and that it's not our fault he's in that situation, he should have stayed on a planet that had air instead of flying around without coverage. Then she tells me to hang up on him.
I could kind of see the logic behind this, but I asked what would happen if he'd call back. She said to hang up again. I asked her if that was what she did and she said yes. I asked her if she ever got in trouble and she said no, so I asked her if she were lying. She said no.
I really didn't feel good about that, but I hung up on him.
The next five or so calls were simple. Then this guy calls in wanting to make changes on his account, but he didn't know his Firbo address and had no useful information, and he wouldn't get off the phone for nothing. He ends up asking for a supervisor. I still felt nervous about just dropping calls, so I go over to Minda's desk. Unfortunately, she's on a call. Not sure what to do next, I just hang up on him.
I successfully handle another handful of calls, then Sigma tells me I can quit for the night, unless I want overtime. I say no thanks and wander the ship.
I was fine for about six calls. It was relatively simple to verify the required details to open up Vunlid's, Qufdams, and Dagmivos (apparently the three major types of vessel preferred by most of my customers). I got some stares, but other than that no one really seemed to care what I looked like. But then I got a difficult call.
The guy was naked and locked out of a Wivaren (he loved how I pronounced it, by the way). He knew his name and the ID issued by his country's government, but he didn't know the names of the owner's relatives on the file, his payment card number, the answer to the security question, or his "Firbo" address. (The last one needs explaining. Firbo is something these aliens use instead of e-mail. It's not quite the same. I tried it out. You kind of talk to it, for one thing, and it's not arranged according to the concept of postal mail (the icons make no sense to me).
Anyways, he didn't have any of that, but he was outside naked and he said I should let him in because the ship is an old piece of junk and doesn't deserve such security. When I said I couldn't do that, he yelled for a supervisor. I tried to at least get him to ask twice for one, then put him on hold.
I couldn't find Sigma anywhere in the call center, so I climbed my way down to Minda.
I tapped her on the shoulder. The moment I started talking, she held up a hand like she were on a call, but there wasn't a call. Then she's like "Hold on! Wait! Wait!" And I wait, and she wiggles in her chair and looks like she's relieving herself. She farts, and I'm pretty sure she did relieve herself. Oh lovely.
She asked me to continue, so I do, after taking a moment to recover from the shock and disgust. I described the problem and she told me to just hang up.
I said "really?" And she said yes. I asked her if I'd get in trouble and she said no, not if he's naked. So I did.
I got a call about servicing scientific equipment, so I ordered a repair. Then I ordered repairs on faulty weapon systems for a couple people, spoke to some guy calling about a missed shipment of Wusu seed (wrong number), and handled some other stuff.
I had two more calls after those, then another problem happened. This guy's air equipment was failing and he was out in the middle of space somewhere. He was rattling his information off so fast that I couldn't find his account. I guess I don't blame him for being so upset, but it was difficult to help him when he was like that. Not only that, but our system couldn't bring his air system back on. I tried it. Several times. It gave me an error message and wouldn't cooperate. I told him there wasn't anything else I could do, and he told me it might be because it's a problem that needed to be fixed manually and he wanted me to send him a repairman. Actually, he demanded that I send him a repairman.
I tried to request one, but the system told me he hadn't paid his contract for three months and so was not covered under the service program. I discovered this when I tried to request service. So he called for a supervisor.
I went to see Minda again, explaining the situation. She said we really can't help him. She said it was "tough but fair" and that it's not our fault he's in that situation, he should have stayed on a planet that had air instead of flying around without coverage. Then she tells me to hang up on him.
I could kind of see the logic behind this, but I asked what would happen if he'd call back. She said to hang up again. I asked her if that was what she did and she said yes. I asked her if she ever got in trouble and she said no, so I asked her if she were lying. She said no.
I really didn't feel good about that, but I hung up on him.
The next five or so calls were simple. Then this guy calls in wanting to make changes on his account, but he didn't know his Firbo address and had no useful information, and he wouldn't get off the phone for nothing. He ends up asking for a supervisor. I still felt nervous about just dropping calls, so I go over to Minda's desk. Unfortunately, she's on a call. Not sure what to do next, I just hang up on him.
I successfully handle another handful of calls, then Sigma tells me I can quit for the night, unless I want overtime. I say no thanks and wander the ship.
Management party
I'm glad it's Friday and I can just relax from all the insanity.
Now that I'm at a different desk, I've been getting Target calls all the time, and there's more demand for me doing e-mails. I'm not complaining. Doing e-mails makes my day simpler because they can't talk back immediately. I basically did that for half the day.
For some reason, all the managers and team leads were in a meeting in the lunch room every day I went there. There was lots of food but I knew it wasn't for me. For reasons unexplained, they had a light-up Christmas tree on a table behind them. Not sure what that was about, but management was generally unavailable today.
Anyways, lots of crappy things happened when I got back on the phone, one of them being a guy wanting a discontinued Ipod delivered at an impossible speed. I told him I couldn't do that because we don't have it anymore, so he wanted a store credit, which I also couldn't do, then he asked for a refund. The catch was that we refund the method of payment and he used a giftcard he'd thrown out. So I filled out a form in my computer but I'm not sure it will work because it's not an order for a giftcard, it's an order placed with a giftcard. I requested to have the card deactivated and his credit card refunded, but I'm willing to bet money the stupid giftcard department will screw this up. I guess he won't be my problem anymore, though.
Another thing that sucked was this Mexican lady wanting items that were lost in the mail. It would have been simple to remedy but the system said something stupid like the billing address and shipping address don't coincide, which is illogical because they were the same ones that were used on the order. It's not like I was trying to send a replacement to a new address. It was the same friggin' address she put on the order. Horrible. I told her I'd try to get a team lead to fix it and e-mail her about a refund if I couldn't. Team lead couldn't do it, so she got a refund.
The rest of the calls were okay, I guess. I screwed up on a call because I was trying to notate an account and this lady starts rattling off her problem and I didn't get a word of it. Luckily she didn't notice how completely she'd been ignored, and, like a good little employee (good by my company's standards), I filled out two of those super complicated, pain in the ass calltag forms while I put her on hold instead of doing it while she was off the phone like I used to do them. Ideally, I should be able to fill out this form with the complexity of an IRS 1040 form while having a brilliant conversation with the woman and selling more things to her, but I'm not that wonderful, so hold prevents me from getting marked down for dead air.
For most the day I was slammed with Target calls. The only thing I could do between calls is mess with HSX because it's not important and I can pay full attention to the customer while messing with my stocks. For the most part I only had 30 seconds to breathe before the next call came in. Insane, but I suppose it's ordinary in comparison to what I've been doing.
I think I refunded and replaced stuff a lot more than I should have, but it served the purpose of greasing the wheels of the phone queue and made the day go by smoother.
Not much else of interest to report.
Now that I'm at a different desk, I've been getting Target calls all the time, and there's more demand for me doing e-mails. I'm not complaining. Doing e-mails makes my day simpler because they can't talk back immediately. I basically did that for half the day.
For some reason, all the managers and team leads were in a meeting in the lunch room every day I went there. There was lots of food but I knew it wasn't for me. For reasons unexplained, they had a light-up Christmas tree on a table behind them. Not sure what that was about, but management was generally unavailable today.
Anyways, lots of crappy things happened when I got back on the phone, one of them being a guy wanting a discontinued Ipod delivered at an impossible speed. I told him I couldn't do that because we don't have it anymore, so he wanted a store credit, which I also couldn't do, then he asked for a refund. The catch was that we refund the method of payment and he used a giftcard he'd thrown out. So I filled out a form in my computer but I'm not sure it will work because it's not an order for a giftcard, it's an order placed with a giftcard. I requested to have the card deactivated and his credit card refunded, but I'm willing to bet money the stupid giftcard department will screw this up. I guess he won't be my problem anymore, though.
Another thing that sucked was this Mexican lady wanting items that were lost in the mail. It would have been simple to remedy but the system said something stupid like the billing address and shipping address don't coincide, which is illogical because they were the same ones that were used on the order. It's not like I was trying to send a replacement to a new address. It was the same friggin' address she put on the order. Horrible. I told her I'd try to get a team lead to fix it and e-mail her about a refund if I couldn't. Team lead couldn't do it, so she got a refund.
The rest of the calls were okay, I guess. I screwed up on a call because I was trying to notate an account and this lady starts rattling off her problem and I didn't get a word of it. Luckily she didn't notice how completely she'd been ignored, and, like a good little employee (good by my company's standards), I filled out two of those super complicated, pain in the ass calltag forms while I put her on hold instead of doing it while she was off the phone like I used to do them. Ideally, I should be able to fill out this form with the complexity of an IRS 1040 form while having a brilliant conversation with the woman and selling more things to her, but I'm not that wonderful, so hold prevents me from getting marked down for dead air.
For most the day I was slammed with Target calls. The only thing I could do between calls is mess with HSX because it's not important and I can pay full attention to the customer while messing with my stocks. For the most part I only had 30 seconds to breathe before the next call came in. Insane, but I suppose it's ordinary in comparison to what I've been doing.
I think I refunded and replaced stuff a lot more than I should have, but it served the purpose of greasing the wheels of the phone queue and made the day go by smoother.
Not much else of interest to report.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
At the station
I didn't know what time it was because my watch was coated in filth and she'd taken it somewhere.
I thought about how it was that we got to Jupiter so fast, but since I had difficulty believing we were in space, I figured a better question to ask was how she managed to get everything to float, and if we were inside an airplane flying around in the atmosphere somewhere.
She asked me what I thought I was seeing and I said probably something like they have at Epcot Center. She asked me what I saw in the "septic system" and I said you can find some pretty horrible stuff in the Amazon jungle or under the ocean and they could have been from there or outer space. That made her laugh.
I told her I wouldn't believe we were in space until I actually took a space walk or stuck my head out an airlock. She said it could be arranged, but not at that moment.
We went back to the entrance and watched cable.
A quarter of the way through a movie, I heard this klaxon sound and she went to the room at the end of the hall. I followed her, watching as she made noises at someone on an intercom.
A big bug shaped object came into view, and we slowly drifted towards it. Jupiter, in the meantime, just kept getting bigger and bigger.
I was floating, so it didn't tire me to just "stand" there for ten minutes. We approached the object, then sort of passed to one side of it. The thing was all metallic, and sort of blocky. Kind of surprising, considering I was in a big sea cucumber thing with rubbery skin.
I heard some hissing sounds and she said "we're here."
Wow. This was a lot longer than I really intended, but it really can't be helped. A lot of weird things happened to me all at once in the course of only a few short days. Nobody will understand them if I don't at least try to explain it a little. And I do mean a little. I skipped over the boring parts, and I've forgotten some things between then and now so this is only an approximate description of what happened to me. I'll go into greater detail about some other things if I have time and remember them.
I'll write a post about what happened on the station tomorrow or something.
I thought about how it was that we got to Jupiter so fast, but since I had difficulty believing we were in space, I figured a better question to ask was how she managed to get everything to float, and if we were inside an airplane flying around in the atmosphere somewhere.
She asked me what I thought I was seeing and I said probably something like they have at Epcot Center. She asked me what I saw in the "septic system" and I said you can find some pretty horrible stuff in the Amazon jungle or under the ocean and they could have been from there or outer space. That made her laugh.
I told her I wouldn't believe we were in space until I actually took a space walk or stuck my head out an airlock. She said it could be arranged, but not at that moment.
We went back to the entrance and watched cable.
A quarter of the way through a movie, I heard this klaxon sound and she went to the room at the end of the hall. I followed her, watching as she made noises at someone on an intercom.
A big bug shaped object came into view, and we slowly drifted towards it. Jupiter, in the meantime, just kept getting bigger and bigger.
I was floating, so it didn't tire me to just "stand" there for ten minutes. We approached the object, then sort of passed to one side of it. The thing was all metallic, and sort of blocky. Kind of surprising, considering I was in a big sea cucumber thing with rubbery skin.
I heard some hissing sounds and she said "we're here."
Wow. This was a lot longer than I really intended, but it really can't be helped. A lot of weird things happened to me all at once in the course of only a few short days. Nobody will understand them if I don't at least try to explain it a little. And I do mean a little. I skipped over the boring parts, and I've forgotten some things between then and now so this is only an approximate description of what happened to me. I'll go into greater detail about some other things if I have time and remember them.
I'll write a post about what happened on the station tomorrow or something.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Clothes
I went to the entrance, looking for the compartment I stowed my luggage in. She wasn't happy about that since I was trailing that slime everywhere, and kept telling me so, but I didn't care. In fact, I was pleased to finally get even.
My gloating turned out to be short lived. When I opened the compartment, I found my suitcase was missing.
I asked her where it was and she said "in a field behind NCO."
I said, "Isn't that where we are?" and asked her to open the hatch.
But she said we were in space and if I opened the hatch an alarm would sound and I'd be sucked out into the vacuum.
I said likely story, but then she asked me how it was that I floated if we were on the ground.
She said she'd show me the view outside once I was cleaned up, but I didn't want to hear it.
I tried to open the hatch anyway, so she typed something on a panel that kept it from opening.
I told her to take me back to earth so I could get my suitcase, but she said we were on a schedule and were actually near Mars right now. Then she told me I shouldn't have put my bag in there.
I tried to hit her, but she saw me trying to run at her and swam out of the way, so I ended up drifting across the room.
I spent several minutes trying to hit her. It was difficult due to the weightless environment, but I managed to catch her off guard and hit her in the stomach. I then yelled for her to get my suitcase.
At long last, she finally told me she could, but with one stipulation. If we went back to get it, she'd take me off the project and I'd be stuck with BBL and Target, and only if I'm lucky. She said my other option would be to say I was sorry and wash up and she'd "pretend like this didn't happen."
Like I said before this trip, I have nowhere else to go. I said fine, I'd shower. But I didn't say sorry, I just asked her if she had towels.
She said she had something better, and some nice outfits I could wear. I said I'd rather keep the ones I had on, but she said they at least needed to be washed and that she didn't want me stinking up the place more than I already had.
I told her that would be pretty good revenge, but I had to admit the smell was more than I could tolerate. I didn't say that last part.
I gave up and asked her to show me the clothes.
So we go into her bedroom and she takes out a box from the storage compartment. She took some items out and showed me, but everything looked gay. Bright colors, silky, stretchy fabrics, midriff shirts, feminine looking leather apparel, girly t-shirts, bikinis, dresses. No jeans whatsoever.
I asked her if she had any menswear and she said this was men's wear. I clarified and said straight men's wear. She said that straight Abreya males wore that stuff. I said I wasn't one, which got a laugh (I guess I walked into that one). Ignoring it, I asked her if she had the stuff that regular men wore on earth, like jeans and boxers and t-shirts and such. She said no.
I contemplated my options. I could wear this gay stuff from the box, or I could raid her closet and try to find something more suitable. I knew she had some dress slacks and turtlenecks. It might be a feminine fit, but so was all this other stuff.
So I asked her if I could use her work clothes.
She said she wasn't sure, and that I might get them smelly. I told her I wasn't wearing the clothes from that box and started poking around the walls, trying to find where her closet was. She finally got annoyed and opened another compartment, showing me the contents of a box of clothes. Real pants!
I tried to grab a pair of slacks, but she said I'd get it dirty, so I just pointed to them and a turtleneck and said I'd wear those.
She said okay and led me into what can only be described as a bathroom. It didn't have any of the fixtures I recognized, so I asked her how to use everything. Unsurprisingly, she asked me to disrobe. I said I didn't need her to bathe me, I just needed to know how it worked.
She showed me how to use the bulb things to make it spray soap and foam, and how to vacuum it out of the chamber. There was an oxygen mask there and she said I'd need it when all the air got sucked out. I said okay and she showed me a "drier", and how to use that instead of a towel. And then she told me to go on and shower and she'd put the clothing in a compartment by the door. Not trusting her, I said I'd wait for her to physically put them there.
I waited and she indeed put the clothes in the compartment. I checked and made sure they were the slacks and the turtleneck I asked for.
I asked her how to shut the door and she showed me. Of course, she wouldn't leave the room until I said something. But she did, and I took my shower.
It was kind of weird. The soap came out of the sprayer, and another had the water, and I had to use the mask to keep from drowning. She must have hard water, because that sprayer hurt.
I got out and tried the drier. It felt like I was in a giant sized version of one of those Dymo driers they have in movie theater restrooms. I got dry in seconds and then I went to the cubbyhole where she put the clothes.
She must have pulled a switch while I couldn't hear anything under the sprayers. Instead of the slacks and shirt, I found this drapey red shrug sweater, some green layered thing that looked like a miniskirt, and a silver bikini bottom thing.
I checked the other compartments, hoping that the clothes I wanted were in another location, but I could only find a bunch of equipment, lots of bottles with labels I couldn't read, and some horse grooming supplies.
I wasn't happy, but I was tired of fighting. Figuring I'd be in a better position to negotiate when I'm clothed rather than naked, I put on the bikini, skirt and sweater and I went out.
She looked at me and laughed and said I looked cute. I told her it wasn't funny, demanding I get the clothing I asked for.
She gave me a response that almost sounded like a script you'd use on an irate customer, understanding statements and all that jazz. It sounded fake.
I told her we're in zero gravity and a skirt just floats around me instead of concealing anything, and I still had no intention of sleeping with her.
She sighed and said she'd get me the clothes I wanted.
This time I got the turtleneck and the slacks I asked for. Once she brought them to me, I changed right in front of her, since I was already past my embarrassment threshold.
My gloating turned out to be short lived. When I opened the compartment, I found my suitcase was missing.
I asked her where it was and she said "in a field behind NCO."
I said, "Isn't that where we are?" and asked her to open the hatch.
But she said we were in space and if I opened the hatch an alarm would sound and I'd be sucked out into the vacuum.
I said likely story, but then she asked me how it was that I floated if we were on the ground.
She said she'd show me the view outside once I was cleaned up, but I didn't want to hear it.
I tried to open the hatch anyway, so she typed something on a panel that kept it from opening.
I told her to take me back to earth so I could get my suitcase, but she said we were on a schedule and were actually near Mars right now. Then she told me I shouldn't have put my bag in there.
I tried to hit her, but she saw me trying to run at her and swam out of the way, so I ended up drifting across the room.
I spent several minutes trying to hit her. It was difficult due to the weightless environment, but I managed to catch her off guard and hit her in the stomach. I then yelled for her to get my suitcase.
At long last, she finally told me she could, but with one stipulation. If we went back to get it, she'd take me off the project and I'd be stuck with BBL and Target, and only if I'm lucky. She said my other option would be to say I was sorry and wash up and she'd "pretend like this didn't happen."
Like I said before this trip, I have nowhere else to go. I said fine, I'd shower. But I didn't say sorry, I just asked her if she had towels.
She said she had something better, and some nice outfits I could wear. I said I'd rather keep the ones I had on, but she said they at least needed to be washed and that she didn't want me stinking up the place more than I already had.
I told her that would be pretty good revenge, but I had to admit the smell was more than I could tolerate. I didn't say that last part.
I gave up and asked her to show me the clothes.
So we go into her bedroom and she takes out a box from the storage compartment. She took some items out and showed me, but everything looked gay. Bright colors, silky, stretchy fabrics, midriff shirts, feminine looking leather apparel, girly t-shirts, bikinis, dresses. No jeans whatsoever.
I asked her if she had any menswear and she said this was men's wear. I clarified and said straight men's wear. She said that straight Abreya males wore that stuff. I said I wasn't one, which got a laugh (I guess I walked into that one). Ignoring it, I asked her if she had the stuff that regular men wore on earth, like jeans and boxers and t-shirts and such. She said no.
I contemplated my options. I could wear this gay stuff from the box, or I could raid her closet and try to find something more suitable. I knew she had some dress slacks and turtlenecks. It might be a feminine fit, but so was all this other stuff.
So I asked her if I could use her work clothes.
She said she wasn't sure, and that I might get them smelly. I told her I wasn't wearing the clothes from that box and started poking around the walls, trying to find where her closet was. She finally got annoyed and opened another compartment, showing me the contents of a box of clothes. Real pants!
I tried to grab a pair of slacks, but she said I'd get it dirty, so I just pointed to them and a turtleneck and said I'd wear those.
She said okay and led me into what can only be described as a bathroom. It didn't have any of the fixtures I recognized, so I asked her how to use everything. Unsurprisingly, she asked me to disrobe. I said I didn't need her to bathe me, I just needed to know how it worked.
She showed me how to use the bulb things to make it spray soap and foam, and how to vacuum it out of the chamber. There was an oxygen mask there and she said I'd need it when all the air got sucked out. I said okay and she showed me a "drier", and how to use that instead of a towel. And then she told me to go on and shower and she'd put the clothing in a compartment by the door. Not trusting her, I said I'd wait for her to physically put them there.
I waited and she indeed put the clothes in the compartment. I checked and made sure they were the slacks and the turtleneck I asked for.
I asked her how to shut the door and she showed me. Of course, she wouldn't leave the room until I said something. But she did, and I took my shower.
It was kind of weird. The soap came out of the sprayer, and another had the water, and I had to use the mask to keep from drowning. She must have hard water, because that sprayer hurt.
I got out and tried the drier. It felt like I was in a giant sized version of one of those Dymo driers they have in movie theater restrooms. I got dry in seconds and then I went to the cubbyhole where she put the clothes.
She must have pulled a switch while I couldn't hear anything under the sprayers. Instead of the slacks and shirt, I found this drapey red shrug sweater, some green layered thing that looked like a miniskirt, and a silver bikini bottom thing.
I checked the other compartments, hoping that the clothes I wanted were in another location, but I could only find a bunch of equipment, lots of bottles with labels I couldn't read, and some horse grooming supplies.
I wasn't happy, but I was tired of fighting. Figuring I'd be in a better position to negotiate when I'm clothed rather than naked, I put on the bikini, skirt and sweater and I went out.
She looked at me and laughed and said I looked cute. I told her it wasn't funny, demanding I get the clothing I asked for.
She gave me a response that almost sounded like a script you'd use on an irate customer, understanding statements and all that jazz. It sounded fake.
I told her we're in zero gravity and a skirt just floats around me instead of concealing anything, and I still had no intention of sleeping with her.
She sighed and said she'd get me the clothes I wanted.
This time I got the turtleneck and the slacks I asked for. Once she brought them to me, I changed right in front of her, since I was already past my embarrassment threshold.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
On the threshold
After spending a lot of time thinking that Friday, I decided I can't afford to quit my job. I'm still considered unskilled labor, even though I have a degree and a prepress certificate. There's no guarantee I'll be able to get a job to replace this one if I do quit.
My brother got into an argument with my dad about staying up late and I got brought into it. "At least Chris has an excuse because he works nights." And my brother said something about how he's "worthless" and "no one wants to hire him." I realize I am one step away from ending up just like him. Honestly I don't know how to get jobs and I was lucky to get the one I got. And if it's screwed up and I end up naked in a tank of slime, I guess I just have to put up with it, because I have nowhere else to go. My brother thinks he's a nobody, but I'd be just as "worthless" and in the same exact predicament if someone decided to fire me.
I didn't touch that device Sigma gave me, or mess with the program from the CD, because frankly I really didn't want to think about what just happened and wanted to put some distance between myself and her.
Today I learned that a wireless router can work without the "main" computer you set the router up on, because my dad's computer is trash due to a virus.
I used the time off work to get some more comics done, and did the laundry.
At 2 in the morning, the "compact" started making noises. I opened it up quickly to avoid disturbing my dad's sleep.
It was Sigma, of course. After poking around for a minute, I managed to open the thing and saw her face on a screen inside the lid. She asked me if I were still going on that trip to space.
It took me a long time to answer that.
I asked her if it were necessary for the job, and she gave me this apologetic smile and said it kinda was and I sorta needed to go there if I didn't want to stay in Target and BBL. So I told her I "might" go and asked her when I had to leave.
She told me 1:00 PM, so I still had time to pack and sleep. I said fine, and then asked how long I'd be gone. She said a week.
I told her my dad's birthday is coming up this Wednesday, but she just said sorry and I really needed to do this.
I knew what I had to do. The last time I skipped work for someone's birthday the company closed its door on me forever.
I skipped on a temp job to go to my grandpa's birthday one time, and Allied Staffing refused to give me any work after that, saying they "still had egg on their faces" from the incident. My life has taught me to suck it up or be unemployable.
And so I just decided to see what I could do to make it up to my dad.
Now I must go pack.
My brother got into an argument with my dad about staying up late and I got brought into it. "At least Chris has an excuse because he works nights." And my brother said something about how he's "worthless" and "no one wants to hire him." I realize I am one step away from ending up just like him. Honestly I don't know how to get jobs and I was lucky to get the one I got. And if it's screwed up and I end up naked in a tank of slime, I guess I just have to put up with it, because I have nowhere else to go. My brother thinks he's a nobody, but I'd be just as "worthless" and in the same exact predicament if someone decided to fire me.
I didn't touch that device Sigma gave me, or mess with the program from the CD, because frankly I really didn't want to think about what just happened and wanted to put some distance between myself and her.
Today I learned that a wireless router can work without the "main" computer you set the router up on, because my dad's computer is trash due to a virus.
I used the time off work to get some more comics done, and did the laundry.
At 2 in the morning, the "compact" started making noises. I opened it up quickly to avoid disturbing my dad's sleep.
It was Sigma, of course. After poking around for a minute, I managed to open the thing and saw her face on a screen inside the lid. She asked me if I were still going on that trip to space.
It took me a long time to answer that.
I asked her if it were necessary for the job, and she gave me this apologetic smile and said it kinda was and I sorta needed to go there if I didn't want to stay in Target and BBL. So I told her I "might" go and asked her when I had to leave.
She told me 1:00 PM, so I still had time to pack and sleep. I said fine, and then asked how long I'd be gone. She said a week.
I told her my dad's birthday is coming up this Wednesday, but she just said sorry and I really needed to do this.
I knew what I had to do. The last time I skipped work for someone's birthday the company closed its door on me forever.
I skipped on a temp job to go to my grandpa's birthday one time, and Allied Staffing refused to give me any work after that, saying they "still had egg on their faces" from the incident. My life has taught me to suck it up or be unemployable.
And so I just decided to see what I could do to make it up to my dad.
Now I must go pack.
Friday, September 4, 2009
More Weird Adventures in a Call Center
http://akktri.livejournal.com/627972.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/628382.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/628582.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629241.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629407.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629617.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629835.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/630229.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/630523.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/628382.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/628582.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629241.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629407.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629617.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/629835.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/630229.html
http://akktri.livejournal.com/630523.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
