Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Assignments for the crazy

 Assignment 605: Get together a bunch of your most elaborate outfits, ones with medals, fancy buttons and ornate trim to a cut-rate dry cleaner. Demand perfection.

Assignment 606: Store everything in bleeding blue tissue paper. You'll thank me later.

Assignment 607: Store everything in resealable sandwich bags. For bulkier items, like winter coats, suits and dresses, cut them into sandwich sized chunks and store like you do everything else.

Assignment 608: A clever way to store large items is by taking a tarp or big piece of plastic, throw the item inside with a silica packet, and carefully lay the top sheet over it.

Assignment 609: To keep screens from rusting, brush both sides with kerosene and set on fire until dry.

Assignment 610: Make a pair of work gloves and cleaning rags from brand new cashmere sweaters.

Assignment 611: Dress up in your fanciest clothing and dig around one those places where it's spray painted green on the ground.  Bring a little picnic lunch with you and enjoy the sewage.

Assignment 612: Save money on packing materials. Pop a bunch of greasy buttered popcorn and use it to fill the boxes containing your priceless heirlooms. It also makes a great snack, no matter how long it's been in storage, or how dusty those old books and pictures were.


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