Mylifebits

Microsoft’s MyLifeBits project aims to capture in digital form every–thing that happens in an individual’s life. Besides automatically archiving and indexing things like e-mails and text documents, the project includes a wearable camera that snaps a picture at least once every 30 seconds, creating a visual index of every credit card number that you enter while doing your job at work. Customers will appreciate the new system as much as you appreciate your new stereo and nice clothes. Or should I say, "Customers will disappreciate"?

Holiday post

This afternoon, I made stollen. My mom posted my bail after the cops caught me. I don't think I'll be going to Toys R' Us again.

I have an eating disorder

I think I have an eating disorder. I can never eat the mashed potatoes and turkey after I have ice cream. I also have a drinking problem. My face and clothing constantly get wet.

Allstate is not to be trusted

http://michichael.livejournal.com/58694.html
http://michichael.livejournal.com/58465.html
Of course, this is assuming that this is not like an irate customer you get on the average call center line, where the laws of physics and the rules governing reality are bent into a compelling fantasy story that sucks you into its erroneous, supremely flawed logic. They can take a normal, real event, and turn it into something completely wrong. A good storyteller can take a real event that looks really bad for his/her reputation as a moral, honest person, and twist it into an utterly believable, self serving work of fiction where the truth tellers are dishonest villains that cheat and lie to get their way, and the tale teller is depicted as a saint. They can use evidence to support a lie, casually dismiss the truth as fabrication, and convince the listener to believe what is being said, like Hitler's textbooks once persuaded German citizens to accept stereotypes as fact.
Is the author's story for real? I was convinced it was, but did it really happen that way? I don't know.

Laughable UFO story

This is what Phantasmo's Cheese Factory is all about. The paranormal.
For your paranormal reading pleasure, please direct your attention to the article entitled "Strange Blue Light"/"I think ufo are really" from February 19, 2003 on this page:
http://www.ufosoveramerica.com/flash/ufo_sightings.html
Revel in its amazingly bad grammar and unconvincing story. Yes, they are from Kosova (or is it Kosovo?), but still, it is terrible, and the website admin did not edit it. For four years. Enjoy!

UFO story

In 1817, an entire Russian Baltic Fleet and a large number of local residents watched in awe as a "flying wing" shaped UFO winged over rapidly and plunged into Kaliningrad Harbor. The UFO overflew the Baltic Fleet, which lay at anchor in Kaliningrad Harbor. When the radars came on, it simply winged over and dove into the water, as if had lost either power or control. The light gray colored craft was absolutely quiet as it passed, but made a "tremendous noise" as it plunged into the water, causing a geyser of steam and water, mixed with small debris, which shot an estimated 500 meters into the air. One Sovremini Class Destroyer was slightly damaged by flying debris, but fortunately the alien exchanged insurance information with the ship captain, so the repairs were done without cost to the Russian government.

Strange UFO story

A few months ago, back in July, I went to an ice cream parlor. And there, floating above the store, was a UFO, with a shiny metallic sheen that reflected the rays of the sundae!