Saturday, September 26, 2009

Crisis of faith

At the space station.
Monday morning I woke up early as usual. I "showered" with that brush thing, etc., because the plumbing still wasn't fixed, then went down to breakfast.
I found nobody in the break room. Figuring they were working, I got my breakfast and went up to start working myself. For the first part of my shift, I got a bunch of Onstar type calls.
I didn't mention it before, but having a "video phone" is both enlightening and distracting. For one thing, you can see everything within the window of the "camera". Everything. This is helpful when they want to tell you about something that words cannot adequately describe. However, there were also some unpleasant visuals I wished I hadn't seen, and at times I saw fascinating things in the background that made me lose focus on the task at hand. There were pets, babies and odd alien lifeforms that totally threw me off the topic of conversation when I saw them. And a couple times I almost screamed when I saw something creeping up behind the "caller." Another distraction was their manner of dress, or undress. Some people dressed up for the "camera". Others didn't seem to care about anything and wore slovenly, shabby clothes, dirty clothes, or next to nothing or literally nothing. But later I learned how to shut off the picture.
Anyways, I had a call about failing air equipment, a couple calls about malfunctioning alarm systems, and some others, then I had another guy asking for a supervisor. Something about broken refrigeration units. I tried the escalation line, but nobody answered, so I got up, looking around the ship to find help.
Minda was gone, and so was Sigma. I checked the conference room, the break rooms, the garden, I even shouted in the bathroom to see if I could get someone.
I eventually found them in the crew quarters, sitting on a bed and talking in their language. When I came in, they gave me a worried look, and they started asking me religious questions. I told them I had a supervisor call and would be happy to answer them later, but Minda said this couldn't wait and that nothing else is more important than this discussion.
Sigma clicked something on a computer she had and said the phones were shut down. Then the two asked me the questions again. I told them what I knew about my religion, but said that anything related to aliens was just guessing. They didn't care, so we had a long theological discussion. I found out that Minda had been having night terrors for some time and hadn't been telling anyone, and the night before, when I was asleep, she'd been crying out, enough to wake up Sigma. (I don't know what Sigma was doing sleeping in the crew quarters when she had a nicer bedroom up top, but whatever). It had woken her up, and she'd gotten worried for her friend. She seemed a little worried herself, but she seemed intent on trying to convince Minda that their god grades on a curve and that my religion is fine for my people but not for hers.
I found myself getting angry, despite the fact there wasn't any clear moral stance to take in this situation. They are space aliens, after all.
I fumed silently in frustration, my emotionally charged opinions thwarted by an absolute lack of concrete textual support.
So then Minda wants to pray and they wanted me to pray with them. I told them I wouldn't be doing that because my God gets angry when I pray in the names of other gods. She said Ponai is just another name of God, but I said people used that same line to argue for the worship of Buddha and Allah, and since those arguments are wrong, there was no reason for me to believe that hers was right. I said I needed to research her religion and check with my God to see if this were acceptable. But I said I'd watch them pray. So I did that.
They touched their fingers together in a funny way and voiced their concerns to Ponai in their own language, basically asking for guidance for them, and, oddly enough, for me, and they asked Ponai to use me for communicating his message, and provide guidance. Once done, they told me they'd check with some guy named "Wodov" and that I should go back to the phones. So I did.
I called the fire department for one caller, requested a repair of a hologram system for another, then contacted "animal control" for some guy that had bugs filling the ship from ceiling to floor.
I was waiting for (or perhaps dreading) some calls about that...whatever they were telling me about, but I didn't get any.
I took more calls and went to lunch.
I went down to the lunch room and saw Minda looking at me expectantly. I got my food, sitting down across from her, and she says she wants to be saved. As in what Christian groups mean by the expression. So I led her through the prayer and everything. I've never converted anyone, so it made me kind of happy. However, I kept wondering if it were the same as preaching the gospel to the Labrador retriever in my basement. Pistol doesn't talk, but I wasn't sure if God wanted me converting space aliens.
I told her some more about the Christian faith walk, then finished my lunch and went back to the phones.
After doing a name change on account for a customer, I had my first dealing with the call center Paparazzi. This Abreya guy, surrounded with weird equipment, asked me to smile, then started asking me all these questions unrelated to the job, like my romantic life. I didn't take too kindly to this and replied with ridiculous answers. The calls I had after that were relatively normal. A misdirected call about mechanical defects in a popular brand name spaceship, amperage issues on an electrified burglar trap, questions about food built in processing units.
I had one last call about payroll and then I was able to clock out for the day.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Alien religion

After working at the station call center, I spent some more time staring at Jupiter. You can't get tired of something like this, seeing it up close and watching it change.
I noticed Minda floating up to me again. She didn't seem as interested in the view. She talked to me about a hairy call she had. I wasn't too interested, having had my fill of craziness, and she must have picked up on that because she changed the subject.
She told me that on her planet, there is a subculture that posts reviews of phone reps along with their pictures, so it's important to do well. I thought that was horrible. She shrugged and said there wasn't anything anyone could do. I told her that my planet has laws against slander and libel like that, but she asked me about tabloid newspapers. I told her that was for famous people and she said we were sort of famous. So I sort of understood then. We then got on the topic of music.
She has strange tastes. When I told her what music I liked, she said her favorite song is the Beepbeep.com jingle. I thought that was awful. I told her it was on ten times a day and was advertising a company, so she said she also liked movie themes and recordings of animal calls. She told me it was common for lots of people on her planet to buy many recordings of animal calls, and that the animal call Pofdons (I guess they're like CD's) sold millions of copies, better than some rap CD's on earth. I asked her about her favorite movie themes. She liked a few that I liked, but a lot of them, however, were overplayed, like John Williams. I was amazed, however, that she liked that little song that was in the movie Troll. Very few people even know what that is. We talked about some other stuff, like video games, then she showed me a new game on the computer. One was like a sports game where Abreyas in jumpsuits played polo on the backs of giant bird creatures, and then I played a couple others that were like racing and action games.
When I tired of messing with them, we went into the conference room and watched cable.
As we were watching a program, she asked me what I thought about the afterlife, so I told her.
She asked me if I thought aliens went there, and I said I didn't know, the bible didn't say anything about it and I guessed they had their own place.
She asked me what if they didn't, and I said I didn't know. She told me they didn't have anyone equivalent to Jesus, and they offered sacrifices to atone for sins.
I asked her how she took care of that on the station, and she said she didn't. She said she was afraid of going to Beptot, their version of hell. She asked me if I thought Jesus could save her, and I said possibly, but I really didn't know if it applied to space aliens.
She said she hoped he did and then said she wondered which religion was true.
I told her I believe mine (the Judeo-Christian one) is true, that every other religion on earth isn't, but I didn't know anything about hers, so I couldn't tell.
So she started telling me all this stuff about her religion. She said she believed that her god, Ponai, sculpted the entire universe out of stellar nurseries, and crafted all life forms from a soup of proteins and chromosomes. She said that her people had a temptation similar to Adam's at the beginning of her race, but they didn't give in to it, and as a reward Ponai taught them space flight and other technologies, but then something happened. Her people called it "the great test", or "the great Qubitgarr" (a word that translates to something like `terrible wave of corruption'). The Gaxea, their holy "book" (it's composed of thousand year old computer documents) said that a giant wave swept over the galaxy from a far off place, infecting everything with evil. She said the source of it is unknown even to this day, but scholars say it is either a test from Ponai or that an evil entity called Kaon called it to happen. Another theory is that an Abreya named Mustafa succombed to the first temptation after a hundred years of peace, but that's an apocryphal story.
She said she'd been watching some of my planet's religious broadcasts and heard of how Adam's sin caused the entire world to be corrupted, and wondered how far the corruption spread. I told her that was very creative, but I really couldn't say for sure.
I asked her how much she watched such programs and she said not often, because she found them boring, or too busy preaching about how praying and doing good deeds could make you a millionaire, but she had learned about Adam and all that.
I told her I didn't know what the right course of action would be, since the bible doesn't say anything about space aliens.
She asked me if I knew what I was talking about and I said yes, I study the bible more than most people I know, with the exception of my pastor.
I said it would be ridiculous to assume that a culture, one that believed that space was just a dome that covered the earth, would think that there was anything but God and angels and heaven up there when they didn't even know about planets.
When she asked me if I thought she was an angel, I said no. She asked me how I could believe in aliens if my religion didn't teach about it and I said God can make whatever He wants, and the bible doesn't talk about gravity or electromagnets, either.
Of course she got confused and I had to tell her that I believed creation is like what it says in Genesis, but that simple words like "light" and "firmament" can have complicated, possibly scientific meanings unknown to the original authors. After all, the earth's atmosphere is arguably a dome of sorts. That being said, I told her, I couldn't make a case for anything regarding extraterrestrials based on the bible. Unless you're talking about angels or something.
We debated the subject a bit further. She finally told me she needed to research this a bit further and she'd get back to me.
I went down and wandered the garden, then paid the caged creatures a visit.
Figuring I was a tough enough guy, I made motions like I were going to reach into a cage to pet one, but it snapped at me. Not nice.
The one next to it was just like it, so I decided they deserved to be dinner and moved on.
I'd noticed a bookcase in the main conference room, so I went up there and tried to read one of the books.
It was in their language so I really wasn't sure what I was reading. I thought it was fantasy, but it confused me. I knew the basics of communication, and this was full of higher level vocabulary. The other books were no better. I put them up and headed to the sleeping quarters.
I found Minda sitting on one of the jellyfish things, clicking buttons on a small device she had. She seemed completely engrossed in whatever it was and didn't even notice when I came in.
I found a transparent package tucked inside the flaps of my bed. I looked inside and found a gold jumpsuit made of some cottony material. It was kind of bizarre looking. The top part had no shoulder straps, being more like a tube top, and the bottom portion looked like capris.
After apologizing for interrupting her studies, I showed Minda the jumpsuit and asked if it were hers. She said no, Sigma got it for me.
After staring at it a minute, I decided it might look okay if I put the tunic over it. Guys wear yellow jogging pants, right?
Anyways, I changed and went to bed. Like the night before, I tossed and turned for awhile. It didn't help that someone was having a religious crisis on the bunk below me and they kept making sounds with their computer thing while I was trying to sleep.
Eventually I got settled and got some rest.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Gardenia Comics [Part 79]

Castrovolvo and its brochure...
http://www.furnation.com/akktri/Gardenia384.html
http://www.furnation.com/akktri/Gardenia385.html

Archive:
http://www.furnation.com/akktri/Archive.html

Updates on the status of the comic:
http://www.furnation.com/akktri/inprogress.html

An alien routine

The second day there, I woke up, and did what I had to because we didn't have working toilets. They said they'd have them repaired on Wednesday, so I had to make do until then. At least they were telling the truth about them being like a stillsuit so I didn't have to sit in it.
I probably slept six hours or less. I went to the big break room in search of breakfast. I found no one there. I looked upstairs, in the other break room and the conference room and the call center, then when I found nobody there I went back down and found Sigma waiting at a table. She was wearing a "uniform", but with a red tunic. She had a box for me, with that alien stuff in it. I went ahead and ate it. As I was eating, she asked me if I'd ever looked at porn. I told her I used to a long time ago, but I care too much about God to do that anymore.
She asked me what was wrong with it if you didn't actually do anything with the person in the picture, so I told her it was a sin of the heart.
Because she asked, I told her more details about my religious beliefs, including some things that I thought were obvious to just about everyone on earth.
It was Sunday, but she said I was working that day, and I would work until I returned to earth. I sighed and said fine.
Once I got done eating, I went upstairs and worked. This story is going long anyway so I'll spare all the details.
Sigma showed me how to use the scheduler to figure out when my lunch and work times were, so I was able to go to lunch exactly when the thing said to instead of having to wait for someone to tell me.
I went down to the break room kind of wondering where the food would come from. When I got there, Minda was at a table, eating, and she showed me the compartment where I could get food from.
I got my lunch and ate. I think she was nearing the end of her lunch, but she sat with me, and started asking more personal questions. Like if I had a girlfriend.
I told her I didn't, explaining that I'd that I've dealt with so many bitchy, emotionally manipulative women at Target and BBL that I avoid looking for women for fear of having to deal with one 24-7.
I told her that if women were like ninety percent of the customers I talked to at Target and BBL, I'd rather not marry.
She laughed and said "not all of us are like that." I told her that Mennonites and some hillbillies, and probably some ugly women are exceptions, but other than that, I wasn't ready for someone that looks pretty on the outside but unmasks her ugly interior self when she doesn't get her way.
She asked me if she was different. I said possibly, if she could prove to me that women aren't the same throughout the galaxy.
I told her how she made me uncomfortable the day before, and that she watches stuff that I consider immoral. But I told her I was fine with being friends.
We talked about some other things, about my social life, and that in comparison to other human beings, and earth culture in general, then Minda pointed to an electronic display and asked me when my lunch ended.
Since I'd studied the language enough, I figured out the readout was saying I was late and hurried back to my computer.
I went back to the phones for awhile, taking more calls. I discovered the supervisor transfer line and sent a few calls there when they got bad. I don't think I was doing a great job, but I figured I was doing good enough, and my previous experience in customer service didn't hurt.
The hours went by quickly due to the constant stream of calls and the complicated and sometimes frustrating nature of some of the problems, and customers.
Halfway close to the so-called "end of shift" on the scheduler (it's impossible to reckon time very accurately in space since 4:00 only means something if you know where the sun is supposed to be), Sigma floats up to me, telling me to go into meeting mode and to come with her to the conference room. I told her there wasn't anyone but Minda here, but I went into meeting and got out of my chair. She said that the chairs in the meeting room are better, so I followed her into the room.
So I followed her into the conference room. She was right. The chairs were more comfortable.
She told me they'd opened up a new division, and asked what I thought about selling Abreya clothes.
I asked her if she were kidding and she said no. Apparently there was this company called Uryanzor on her planet, and they sold apparel kind of like the stuff from that box she showed me. Men's skirts and all that.
She said if I didn't have a problem with it, she'd send some of those calls to me. I asked her how she could do that if we're being slammed with the other calls, and she said she had other call centers, and I wouldn't be doing that many.
Then I asked if I had to learn a new system, and she said yes, and I could start training at the end of my shift.
I kind of said I'd do it and that was that. I did more calls, and my shift ended.
I found Sigma working the phones, oddly enough. Knowing what I knew about her language, I figured out she was doing supervisor calls.
When she got done with the one she was on, and I had gotten an earful, she noticed me and showed me what programs to use in my computer to do training.
This was little different. There were modules for me to get acquainted with the company, the demographic, and the product itself. There was an inventory database, but a lot more sophisticated than Bebe's 360 tool. This one had a name search, so you were only limited by your vocabulary, and it had pictures.
You could put in vague words like "black dress" and "bag with the frills on the side" and it would find something. Not only that, but it actually asked you for clarifications if it was too vague.
If the same thing could be done in English in the 360 tool, the program communication would be something like this:
ME: Black dress with ruffles on the side
COMPUTER: Does this dress have shoulder straps?
ME: (Talks with customer) No
COMPUTER: What material is it made of?
ME: Satin or silk
COMPUTER: What year was it released?
ME: Not sure
COMPUTER: Was it released this year?
ME: (Checks with customer) Yes
COMPUTER: How much did it cost?
ME: Around $150
COMPUTER: It is either the Cassandra Slinky Dress (SKU 423423) or the Shimmery Satin Diva Dress (SKU 232342).
And it shows a picture of each one. And the prods prevent it from pulling up a hundred.
So it's got a sophisticated AI system, and it's not as stupid as the ones I've been using. The more I tried it, the more I sort of figured out the AI was telling me it was out of stock because it didn't have the info, but it made the job a lot easier.
Not only that, but I can show the picture to them, because it's a "video phone."
I learned some other programs, then I could relax and recuperate from all the craziness for awhile.
Sort of.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tarjay

Monday. Another great day at work at Tar-Jay. Read more here:
http://akktri.livejournal.com/639993.html

Minda

My cable was out yesterday, so I couldn't post this until today.
I ended up just floating in front of the window, staring at Jupiter. It was very surreal to look at the moons slowly orbiting the place, and see the clouds and storms moving around. It's not like you can normally get a live feed of that sort of thing anywhere.
All of a sudden Minda is floating next to me and talking about how lovely the view was. It kind of startled me. I asked her if she was on a break or lunch and she said her shift was over. Since I looked confused, she said ours wasn't the only call center and that there's a big one on a planet called Pathilon.
She then asked me to pull up my sleeve so she could see my arm. I did that and she asked if she could touch it. I told her I guessed and she ran her hand over my arm and giggled and asked me to pull up my "pant" leg. She was making me nervous so I asked why. She said she'd never seen my kind in person and she wanted to know if I were truly as hairless as the people she saw on cable. I shrugged and pulled up a leg on the leggings to humor her. She giggles some more, then starts running her hand over my calf. The hand goes higher and I tell her to quit. Thankfully, she does, and she pulls her hand away, too.
One thing I could say for her is she was more respectful of boundaries than Sigma. That being said, she still had no tact. The moment she stops touching me, she asks to see my privates. I told her no and asked what made her think I'd even want to do that. Her response is that the people on cable did that sort of thing all the time, and she just wanted to see for herself that mine wasn't bifurcated like Abreya males. I asked her to change the subject.
She told me she'd never met a human before and was surprised that I wasn't a sex fiend like the people she saw in various programs. I told her she watches too much cable, and that seemed to quiet her for a moment, but then she asked if this were some sort of game and the sex came later. I told her no, I was serious, and told her to stop talking about it.
She asked me if I liked men, and I said no. She apologized for bringing up the subject again, but then asked me if I were a Puebuku. I asked her what that was and she said someone belonging to a religious order that takes a vow never to have sex.
I told her that pretty well describes me, but the right girl could change my mind, provided we share the same values and are married.
Her response? "You're an interesting person." And that's it.
Okay. I thought about it a minute, and decided I was grateful for such a normal, non-aggressive response.
We stared out the window quietly for a few minutes, then Minda asked if I'd ever heard of "Roalogi." I said I had not, so she took me to a computer and showed me a weird game. It's kind of hard to explain it, but it was kind of a shooting game. Shooting isn't quite the right word to describe it, since you don't use guns or bullets or laser beams, but it had projectiles of some sort, and you kind of made the projectile roll down a pipe inside a hole in your target. It was oddly addictive, and had really realistic graphics, though admittedly I didn't have those particular objects available for me to compare it to. I played this for a good hour or so. It was complicated, but Minda showed me how to operate everything.
We took turns playing the game, and as we did, she taught me some more about her language, some of the odd expressions and other nuances I couldn't pick up from a training module.
And cuss words, too. As my usual habit was to cuss at a game when it's too difficult, it rubbed off or something, and I heard her cussing, and she was telling me about her culture's curse words. I hope this doesn't ruin my customer service.
The game was hard to figure out, and it didn't have a plot, but after practicing for a few minutes, I at least could keep pace with it.
I guess she was somewhat impressed at my quick reflexes, because she asked me if I'd ever played the game before and what games I normally played.
I told her some things that were similar, and that video games are really a vice I keep trying to wean myself off of.
I started to get tired, so I went down to the sleeping quarters.
The uniform wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but I decided to keep it on for modesty and attempt to lay down on a bed.
She'd told me that the jellyfish things were beds, and how to use them, but used to laying on them. For one thing, instead of blankets, there were these flaps of translucent skin stuff. There were also tentacle things hanging off it, and you were supposed to sort of stick them together with its own secretions and you'd use that to keep yourself from drifting around the room when you slept.
I tried it, but I just laid there for a long time, tossing and turning and trying not to think about things that stressed me or kept me awake. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I somehow managed to eventually.