Saturday, August 23, 2008
Pondering
I think the song lyric "blowing a gasket on the vine" in Hot Summer Night In Sausalito means that they were drunk driving.
Blues
The reason why most local blues music is hard to stomach is because the musicians don't try very hard. They use old, repetitive tunes that people have been using for years, with only the lyrics changed.
Roleplaying campaign characters
SPARK: The flame dog. Protected by his allies, Jack, the flame kitten, Mike, the flame snake, Bob, the flame caterpillar, and Larry, the flame cactus.
COP: A regular human being, transformed into an agent for justice through taking law courses in college and working nights at Burger King. When wearing Kevlar, can only be killed by a shot to the head. At other times, vulnerable to blows to the head and other physical attacks. Advantages: Superhuman handgun skills due to months of practice on the range. Some combat skills. Amazing power to arrive an hour after a crime has occurred and write reports.
SOLDIER: A regular human being, transformed into an agent for furthering the goals of the United States through enlisting in the military and working nights at Burger King. Weakness: Bullets, grenades, and mortar fire, as well as toxic gas, nuclear weaponry and other deadly stuff. Advantages: Superhuman strength due to intense physical training, gunmanship, skill in driving some military vehicles. Amazing power to cancel gym memberships when stationed overseas. Has bad breath and sounds really whiny over the phone.
RETENSIO: A constipated human being, transformed into a regular human being by means of amazing laxatives.
TERRORIST: A constipated human being, transformed into an agent for destruction by Islam, democracy, and working at Burger King. Advantages: Immense power to avoid detection and survive daisy cutters and grenades by hiding in rat infested holes.
Disadvantages: Cannot bow to Mecca inside sewer pipe. Rats have an immense power to give them the bubonic plague.
CRIMINAL: A human being with indigestion, transformed into an agent of destruction by his indigestion, bad parenting, and having his job application rejected by Burger King. Advantages: Can rob people really well.
Disadvantages: Leaves evidence really well. Doesn't wear a mask.
COP: A regular human being, transformed into an agent for justice through taking law courses in college and working nights at Burger King. When wearing Kevlar, can only be killed by a shot to the head. At other times, vulnerable to blows to the head and other physical attacks. Advantages: Superhuman handgun skills due to months of practice on the range. Some combat skills. Amazing power to arrive an hour after a crime has occurred and write reports.
SOLDIER: A regular human being, transformed into an agent for furthering the goals of the United States through enlisting in the military and working nights at Burger King. Weakness: Bullets, grenades, and mortar fire, as well as toxic gas, nuclear weaponry and other deadly stuff. Advantages: Superhuman strength due to intense physical training, gunmanship, skill in driving some military vehicles. Amazing power to cancel gym memberships when stationed overseas. Has bad breath and sounds really whiny over the phone.
RETENSIO: A constipated human being, transformed into a regular human being by means of amazing laxatives.
TERRORIST: A constipated human being, transformed into an agent for destruction by Islam, democracy, and working at Burger King. Advantages: Immense power to avoid detection and survive daisy cutters and grenades by hiding in rat infested holes.
Disadvantages: Cannot bow to Mecca inside sewer pipe. Rats have an immense power to give them the bubonic plague.
CRIMINAL: A human being with indigestion, transformed into an agent of destruction by his indigestion, bad parenting, and having his job application rejected by Burger King. Advantages: Can rob people really well.
Disadvantages: Leaves evidence really well. Doesn't wear a mask.
Buck Rogers
On an old radio drama of Buck Rogers, Buck sent a villain back to earth to be tried for his crimes on the planet. His specific words included something about the Supreme Court.
Okay. Wait. Supreme Court? Aren't they only supposed to judge what is constitutional and what isn't?
How does this apply to a crime committed on a planet billions of light years away?
Furthermore, is causing an army of robots to attack the inhabitants of an alien planet really unconstitutional?
Okay. Wait. Supreme Court? Aren't they only supposed to judge what is constitutional and what isn't?
How does this apply to a crime committed on a planet billions of light years away?
Furthermore, is causing an army of robots to attack the inhabitants of an alien planet really unconstitutional?
Captain Starr and Starr Wars
It seems as if the first three Star Wars movies were inspired by Buck Rogers. Unfortunately, the second three appear to be inspired by the ethnic stereotype laden radio program, Captain Starr of Space Queen. On one program, Starr features aliens with fake Chinese accents and not-so-subtle digs about African-like aliens. Compare to Mr. Jamaican and the French aliens in Star Wars Episodes I-III.
Random thoughts
I miss my pants right now.
I don't watch much QVC these days.
I own lots of junk bonds.
I wear drinking glasses for contact lenses.
I love to play political games.
I've tried hairy guano.
I've watched Wilford Brimley movies.
I have been the psycho captain's roomate in a haunted sailing ship full of guano.
I don't watch much QVC these days.
I own lots of junk bonds.
I wear drinking glasses for contact lenses.
I love to play political games.
I've tried hairy guano.
I've watched Wilford Brimley movies.
I have been the psycho captain's roomate in a haunted sailing ship full of guano.
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