Bizarre stories of the strange, part 2

Location. Kingston Springs, Tennessee
The witness was just preparing to go to bed, when he heard a very loud
noise over the house. Thinking it was a low helicopter he looked out
the window and saw nothing. The noise was deafening and all of
the sudden it stopped. Later in the early morning the witness was
suddenly awakened by a presence getting into bed with him. He felt the
heat next to his body, and he was totally unable to move. Moments later
the blanket started to slowly come off his shoulders, and he saw an alien smiling down at him. The creature reportedly said, "This is for the good of the planet" and "don't worry, I'll use protection." The next moment, his pants came off.
The next morning, he awoke with a sore buttocks, a mysterious rash, and an intense desire to buy womens' shoes at the GAP.