Assignment 588: When you clock in at work, it's yoga time. It doesn't matter that your job isn't yoga instructor. Just start doing it, for an hour or more.
Assignment 578: Why not urinate on a police car today?
Assignment 579: There's no law that says you can't intentionally wet your own bed.
Assignment 580: When you clock in at work, take that half hour drive back to your house, walk the dog and take out the trash. Do laundry. Then go back to the office and tell the boss you overslept. For bonus points, drive to Texas and give the same excuse.
Assignment 581: All lettuce should be square. Take a pair of scissors to all the leaves in your fridge, and all the heads in your grocery store. It's your decision what to do with the discards.
Assignment 582: Dress up in black like a concierge and and hang out around hotels.
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