She was trying to convince me that my food was flushed away into her septic tank somewhere, but I wasn't convinced. I decided I needed more information. I was looking at a dark tunnel and didn't even see my food. Furthermore, I couldn't care less if I died. I acquired a gradual desire to end my existence when I became unemployed for an extended period a couple years ago. I was unemployed for months. I laid in my bed, apathetic to life, to the point where I decided that the things I was afraid of, like dark closets and basements and darkened attics full of creepy paintings were no longer something I should fear, that I'd rather get mauled to death by a ghost or a demon or a burglar than have to face another day of joblessness.
And this is what went through my mind when I decided to climb through the hole and take a look around. I should be employed at Hallmark doing art, and I'm working at a damn call center. So what if this situation is a little unusual. I still think life sucks, so I went down in the hole.
She didn't close it up when I went in, but she did something to make the fungus on the walls glow.
The tunnel was really cramped. Only about four feet tall, I think, and I'm about six feet tall.
I didn't see it from the hole, but there was also a foot thick layer of clear slime running along the bottom. The moment I entered the compartment, I sunk into it, my clothes soaked through to my skin.
I couldn't breathe without having my ribs and arms pressing against the walls, but I didn't want to breathe too deep anyway. The smell was literally undescribable. It wasn't like any scent or odor I knew from anywhere, so I had no grounds for comparison. It wasn't like a shit smell or like dog poop or a skunk or cow poop. I don't know what it smelled like, but it made me queasy. I pushed myself ahead, looking around for my food.
What I saw ahead of me was a chamber, about three feet in height, with an oozing "pad" of something fleshy covering the floor. The "pad" was pitted all over with these cup-like holes. I looked in one and came close to throwing up.
The cups contained these little worm creatures, about the size of pipe cleaners, with little mouths on one end and sightless flatworm eyes. They squirmed in and out of these holes, and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life.
I screamed and backed up to the hole. I was okay with dying. I wasn't okay with being infected with tapeworms or having those things crawling around in my bodily orfices.
She sticks her head through the hole and said they're harmless. I said right, like tapeworms or fecal bacteria or salmonella. I told her black widow spiders might be great in a petting zoo, but I wouldn't go there, and I wanted out. I saw my food nowhere in there anyway.
I tried to push myself out, but it was difficult to do in a frictionless confined space like that. Fortunately, she pulled me back out, and I was floating in her hallway, dripping and smelly.
Of course she told me I had to take a shower, and I reluctantly agreed. So then I went back to get my suitcase.
Problem.
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Back to the grind
I'm back to doing Target/BBL for awhile. I thought it would be refreshing to do halfway normal work for a change, but today sucked.
Halfway through the first hour of my shift, the computer system fails and I get this lady that asks me to guarantee it won't be too late to change her order if she calls back. I tell her I can't make that promise so she demands I call her back when the system is down, not the other way around. I told her I would. I took the verification information, but she put down the wrong name so I still had to call her.
It turns out to be a waste of my time. I was able to add the items she wanted and cancel the original shipment, but she wanted to combine coupons and use a coupon she didn't have, so that sucked. Also, the manager (Joe) handed me this pile of papers and a cheap "photo album", and one of the papers gave all these retarded reasons for an automatic fail on a call. It's as if to say they can fire me for any reason they feel like.
Once the phones came back on line, I really got in deep shit. This black lady that does the call monitors pulled me aside and said to go into meeting. I had to sit there at her desk, in Arthea's chair, while she did who knows what, and then she led me out of the BBL area. I go into this office and meet this other strange lady and they tell me the meeting is about an e-mail.
What happened was I had this lady on the phone the week before I left and she was pissed about losing a $20 Fashion Club reward without having it expired or applied to anything. I really thought a mistake was made, as the reward exists, but there's no documentation to support it being expired. It was still within the date, and nothing was recorded. So, unknowingly, I sent a message directly to the women's clothing company, and I guess I didn't put information in it, so they sent me a screenshot showing the unrelated $10 she just received recently. I sent an e-mail back saying, "That's obvious. What about the $20 reward that was expired without being used on any purchase?"
Only now am I catching heat for it.
Anyways, they browbeat the hell out of me, and I could sense I was about to lose my job. It's likely my new position would go with it. I said I was sorry, and lied and said the e-mail wasn't intended to insult.
Lessons I learned:
1. Never e-mail the client about anything. Send it all through the team lead.
2. Never side with the customer. Especially about $20. That f***ing bitch isn't going to get anything. Maybe there is a benefit to sending form letters.
I felt bad about making a false promise to the customer, and felt guilt about neglecting my duty to assist her with something I assumed she deserved, so I forwarded a request to have her reward reactivated to the team lead, Scott, who is a dead ringer for that stupid lawyer guy from the movie Idiocracy.
Scott didn't understand the problem, either. He told me about the wrong reward, the $20 that was used on a purchase, instead of the one that wasn't used on anything, and had no documentation of a purchase. I give up.
The lady was a whining, greedy, stuck-up bitch and probably had used it on something and it just wasn't documented. I don't care anymore. Nobody understands me. Let her call back about it. She'll be someone else's problem now.
Honestly, if Scott was looking at the right part of the account, he could be right. I'm just assuming he looked at the wrong reward. Either way, she's SOL.
Halfway through the first hour of my shift, the computer system fails and I get this lady that asks me to guarantee it won't be too late to change her order if she calls back. I tell her I can't make that promise so she demands I call her back when the system is down, not the other way around. I told her I would. I took the verification information, but she put down the wrong name so I still had to call her.
It turns out to be a waste of my time. I was able to add the items she wanted and cancel the original shipment, but she wanted to combine coupons and use a coupon she didn't have, so that sucked. Also, the manager (Joe) handed me this pile of papers and a cheap "photo album", and one of the papers gave all these retarded reasons for an automatic fail on a call. It's as if to say they can fire me for any reason they feel like.
Once the phones came back on line, I really got in deep shit. This black lady that does the call monitors pulled me aside and said to go into meeting. I had to sit there at her desk, in Arthea's chair, while she did who knows what, and then she led me out of the BBL area. I go into this office and meet this other strange lady and they tell me the meeting is about an e-mail.
What happened was I had this lady on the phone the week before I left and she was pissed about losing a $20 Fashion Club reward without having it expired or applied to anything. I really thought a mistake was made, as the reward exists, but there's no documentation to support it being expired. It was still within the date, and nothing was recorded. So, unknowingly, I sent a message directly to the women's clothing company, and I guess I didn't put information in it, so they sent me a screenshot showing the unrelated $10 she just received recently. I sent an e-mail back saying, "That's obvious. What about the $20 reward that was expired without being used on any purchase?"
Only now am I catching heat for it.
Anyways, they browbeat the hell out of me, and I could sense I was about to lose my job. It's likely my new position would go with it. I said I was sorry, and lied and said the e-mail wasn't intended to insult.
Lessons I learned:
1. Never e-mail the client about anything. Send it all through the team lead.
2. Never side with the customer. Especially about $20. That f***ing bitch isn't going to get anything. Maybe there is a benefit to sending form letters.
I felt bad about making a false promise to the customer, and felt guilt about neglecting my duty to assist her with something I assumed she deserved, so I forwarded a request to have her reward reactivated to the team lead, Scott, who is a dead ringer for that stupid lawyer guy from the movie Idiocracy.
Scott didn't understand the problem, either. He told me about the wrong reward, the $20 that was used on a purchase, instead of the one that wasn't used on anything, and had no documentation of a purchase. I give up.
The lady was a whining, greedy, stuck-up bitch and probably had used it on something and it just wasn't documented. I don't care anymore. Nobody understands me. Let her call back about it. She'll be someone else's problem now.
Honestly, if Scott was looking at the right part of the account, he could be right. I'm just assuming he looked at the wrong reward. Either way, she's SOL.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Astonishing Tales of the Paranormal
Location. Calama, Chile
One night, a 4-year old girl was sleeping in bed and had a nightmare. Terrified she ran yelling for her mother, who was surprised to see that the child's hair was standing up as if surrounded by a current of static electricity.
One night, a 4-year old girl was sleeping in bed and had a nightmare. Terrified she ran yelling for her mother, who was surprised to see that the child's hair was standing up as if surrounded by a current of static electricity.
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