UFO Facts

"1. Stay up late, but not too late. Almost all UFO landings take place after 6:00 p.m. Sightings rise in number until about 10:30 p.m. and then begin to decline. Very few sightings of TRUFOs take place between 6:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. The number of sightings decreases after 10:30 because most aliens go to bed around that time. The more aliens there are in bed, the fewer there are to abduct people. Of course, some people see strange lights outside their bedroom windows, so being in bed doesn't rule out the possibility of seeing a UFO. But since aliens go to bed at 10:30, being in bed at 11:00 doesn't count. Also make sure you wear nice clothes when going to bed. An alien might want to take you out on a date. They sometimes like seafood, but aren't fond of Applebee's.
2. Be in the right place. You may think that looking for aliens in your grandmother's basement is a good idea, BUT IT IS NOT! You have to be outside, so forget about the XBOX 360. Bring your Nintendo DS instead. Aliens don't like basements or highly populated areas like New York City and Sedalia because of the smog and the traffic and the expensive food. The best idea is to go out into the woods and look for them because that's where they pee.
3. Be young. You should be at least 13, but not 8 like my icky little sister. Also, you should be blonde with blue eyes (unlike my sister) and answer to the name Mike. But if you're my friend, that's cool too. Maybe you can be abducted, too! Sometimes people with red hair get abducted. Or brown or black sometimes. My friend down the street says he skinned his knee, but it looks like something only an alien can do with a piece of alien concrete."
-Mike from Denver, CO