Sunday, July 31, 2022

Straight pride

 They don't have straight pride month for the same reason why they don't have rich people soup kitchens.

 When straight people brag: "We just got married, going to honeymoon in Cancun."

Gay marriage is pretty much response like this:

"OH YEAH? Well...I just...got married to this blow up doll."

And then after the honeymoon, when the straight person says, "We're about to give birth to twins! I'm so excited!"

The gay marriage answer is similar to:

"YEAH? Well, I still got this blow up doll... And I'm going to adopt some puppies!"

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Escaping Magicant

 In the Earthbound/ Mother video game, I have gotten stuck in Magicant (the cloud city with elves) several times.

No, the game isn't broken. You're not trapped in the cloud city forever.

I just now realized that there's a man inside the well dungeon, near the sleeping dragon.

You keep going down holes inside the well, just keep going down the left one till you reach a dead end, then climb the ladder and go down the one next to it until you find a dungeon that doesn't look like a square.

You go inside the box shaped hole, catty corner from the path above the sleeping dragon and fight the fish. It looks like just another enemy, but you can't get the magic hook without fighting him.

The important detail I kept missing was how that blue blob in the crack near the top of the dungeon wall is a guy that you're supposed to talk to.

If you choose 'check,' it only says 'no problem here.' You actually need to talk to the blob.

 The hook only takes you back to magicant, which sucks, because the door blob guy is blocking leads to a new area with semis that give you asthma. You can't do anything once you get asthma, so it wipes you out and you end up in the Magicant save point again.

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

Sucks

 Trying to clean up in the corner,

Trying to fit a big assed vacuum in there

But I never seen a Hoover Upright

Do Bare Floor in a one inch square

Vacuum doesn't fit there

Vacuum don't do s### there...

Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Schweppes

 I've got this song stuck in my head, but I don't know who sang it. It was some kind of musician who did commissions.

It goes like this:

I'm going to steal your Schweppies, your Schweppies your Schweppies

I'm going to steal your Schweppies,

Do you like me?

No we don't,

(Can I have your Schweppies?)

No you can't!

Oh I don't know what to do, I guess I'll spend my whole life eating glue, glue glue glue,

And post its...post its are copyright the 3M corporation.

Wednesday, July 13, 2022

Jireh

 Gyro... you are enough,

Gyro you are enough,

With some feta cheese, the flatbread's sure to please...

Gyro you are enough...

Gyruss you are enough...

Gyruss you are enough,

Spinning round and round, I shoot the spaceships down,

Gyruss you are enough...

Gyro you are enough,

Gyro you are enough,

You keep my airplane sound, so I don't hit the ground,

Gyro you are enough... 

Gyroid, you are enough 

Gyroid you are enough,

Resetti's mad at me, because I'm not saving,

Gyroid you are enough...

Guinan you are enough,

Guinan you are enough,

On Star Trek TNG, you are always there mentoring,

Guinan you are enough 



Sunday, July 10, 2022

Satanism

 Of all the religions you could belong to, Satanism is the most illogical. Even Wiccans will agree. 

You're basically taking a religion and doing the opposite of everything in it, instead of getting your own religion. If you really wanted to piss God off, you wouldn't belong to a religion that says that God exists, and what's that line about "the greatest trick Satan ever pulled was convincing people that he doesn't exist"? 

If you really did everything in the satanic religion right, you'd be in jail, because a lot of federal laws are also biblical. Like "do not murder."

A lot of people belonging to Satanism are either rebellious teens, or mild mannered guys like Atticus Murphy Junior on Todd and the Book of Pure Evil.

I've spoken to a wiccan, and he said satanism isn't a serious religion. Since satanism is basically the Bible on opposite day, I tend to agree.

How I got in Facebook jail

 I think I know how I got in Facebook jail. There was a post about Christopher Walken and they showed a picture of him as a kid. I paraphrased a quote from Joe Dirt and said "mom" instead of "my man" and somebody thought that I was going to "Stab them to n the face with a soldering iron." Since the person was an idiot that didn't know how to report a comment instead of a post, they followed me to my personal group and reported a post I made about MASH and said I was threatening violence. 

Of course Facebook would never explain what really happened or why I got in the penalty box for 30 days, so I can only assume this is what happened.

It gave me an option to protest my being put in Facebook jail, but it actually seemed like the moment I complained, they sent me the list of stuff I couldn't do for thirty days. It's like having the police tell you they were perfectly justified in giving you a life sentence for spitting on a sidewalk, and the judge agreeing to the terms.

No legal process, no jury, just crap and alligators all the way down.

The guy that reported me...I think he "wants to see homos naked."