Sunday, April 3, 2022

Crazy People Assignments

626: If you're in Facebook jail, someone on your friend list was responsible. Go through all the names, accusing each of being a double crossing backstabber until one of them confesses.

Assignment 619: Save time on your chores by dragging that large dripping trash bag through every room of your house as you empty the cans.

Assignment 620: Violate policy on a bunch of websites so you get blocked out, then share your username and password on public websites and forums. You can remove your personal information, but where's the fun in that?

Assignment 621: Keep some "go-to" foods stocked up in your house, in the event of entertaining guests or prisoners. A box of saltines, for example, can make a great pizza if you coat it with barbecue or marinara sauce and cheese and microwave it awhile.

Assignment 622: Take care of all your errands in one drive. If your relative needs picking up at the airport around 2pm, don't worry, you can still get the pet to the veterinarian, go to the doctor appointment and attend that two hour work seminar and still pick them up at midnight from that airport lobby.

Assignment 623: Save time and effort with bookkeeping. Instead of making a list of your credit card numbers, make photocopies of the cards and fold them into origami shapes to give to random strangers.

Assignment 624: Get in on the cryptocurrency bandwagon. Print up a bunch of billfold sized copies of "Doge Shiba" memes and use them in stores for purchasing. If they don't accept it, try harder.

Assignment 603: Sort all your credit card receipts into three envelopes, marked "business," "personal," and "other." File them away somewhere where you can't find them again.

Assignment 604: Keep everything up to date by starting a new check register every time you buy something.

No comments: