Thursday, May 22, 2008

My least favorite chore

My least favorite chore is holding down the drain lever so I can pull the hair out of the drain. It takes forever. I do this for my obsessive compulsive brother. When it comes down to it, he deserves to be made to wait for me, because I have to sit there and hold the lever forever so that his precious feet don't step in "dirty bath water" or touch a "pubic hair" (it's probably scalp hair, to tell the truth). My second least favorite chore is handling garbage when the can is full. It's like eating a turd sandwich. I might as well be eating one, since I've already stuck my entire body in garbage. My third least favorite chore is scooping dog poop because it can get runny and splash you in the face when you're trying to bang poop off the scooper to get it into a bag.

Loss

What have I lost that I wish I still had? My job at Vertis. Also, my black coat I had in 2000. I lost it at a theater. And also my Toyota Echo. I wish I hadn't totaled that car. It had great gas mileage. I also lost contact with my penpal Gunpil Na, and my friends Amber Gosorsky and Nicole Jones. I regret losing jobs the most. Along with losing my grandmother and her dog Zany.

Random Chance

Scientists base their theory of life coming into existence out of chance on computer models. That in itself is flawed. A computer cannot generate truly random numbers. They will always be predictable. Video Keno machines can be beat by buying ten tickets, increasing 3% odds to 30%. If video gambling machines and slot machines that pride themselves on being random and unpredictable are not random, why should a computer elsewhere not suffer from the same fatal flaw? Life is not a computer system. It is not the Matrix, because it is not that predictable.

Success

I am but a face amidst thousands of people. I am only another cog in the money making machine. My ideas aren't that original, my abilities aren't that great, or I would have gotten above the masses and made something of myself. I am also guilty of the sin of covetousness. I have coveted the fame and wealth of Stephen King, George Lucas and others. I will forget I wrote this, sadly enough.

Embarrassing memories at J.A. Rogers

I went to the middle school at J.A. Rogers in Kansas City. We saw roaches in the cafeteria so we called it "J.A. Roaches" after awhile. I always brought my lunch. The most embarrassing memory I had of that school was the day where I was "king" of the cafeteria. They brought me up to the center of the room, at a table slightly elevated off the floor on a stage or something. They gave me a hot lunch and had me sit next to some girl. I actually think it was Sally Wright, but I could be imagining that because I secretly had a crush on her. Anyways, I don't know who I sat next to, but they made me wear a tinfoil crown as well. Like a dummy, I ate my bag lunch instead of the hot meal they had made. I was already eating, and it probably wasn't the best meal, probably mashed potatoes or something. Anyways, I ate my lunch instead. I felt like an idiot.
Another memory I got from there was my first experience with art critics. I was drawing something like Bucky O'Hare and other furry critters, and some kid drew a big X across the whole picture with whiteout our a pen or a marker, totally ruining at least an hour's work. I would take this memory with me later in life, when I decided that people really wanted art with humans in it. I figured, to be truly cool and successful, I needed to draw stuff like X-Men and scantily clad women and omit the furries.

Kindergarten

I went to kindergarten at Our Savior Lutheran School in Kansas City Kansas. I have fond memories of the green enclosure on the northwest end. Lois Vogel had us plant a garden out there. There were rows of boxes framed in railroad ties and we planted some sprig of a plant in there. She probably watered and took care of them while we were gone, because I don't have much of any memory of tending plants. Or maybe some other kid took care of it, not me. So I don't remember tending them, but I do remember there being tall sunflower plants alongside the building, before, or perhaps with a bit of imagining, after we planted them. I remember the big yellow fabric thing with the rainbow of stripes on it. We kids would grab an end and whirl and lift it around, making it swell with air in the center like a mushroom. There was a chain link fence, but nobody wanted to scale it. Everyone was having a great time inside.

Law Enforcement

The police exist to make me poor and unemployed. They target you when you're trying to get to a job interview and try to take away your license, and charge you money that you don't have.