Art Commissions

 I don't like art commissions anymore. As I wrote about in the "make me pretty" post, some people can be unreasonable to the extreme. I ghosted, or thought I ghosted this person who expected too much from me, but they came back, weeks later, and said the sketch I made wasn't good, and to try doing like this anime drawing that I sketched already, the same one I drew and sent earlier. What, do you want me to trace the damn thing? 

People don't understand an artist's limitations. You don't go to Charles m Schultz or Scott Adams and ask them to make an amazing Sistine chapel looking thing. Not everyone can do the same kinds of things. If you ask a Snoopy type artist for a Mona Lisa, be prepared to receive a picture of Snoopy as the Mona Lisa, not something that looks as great as the Mona Lisa.

I've learned to accept the fact that I'm not a super great artist, I'm a cartoonist. I enjoy drawing cartoons. I don't like it when people  expect miracles from me, and imply that I'm not a good artist because I can't make pictures like Rembrandt. I can go to my dad if I want that kind of treatment.

You're not the Medici family. If you were, you'd go online and find a perfect artist instead of complaining that I can't fulfill your artistic vision to your impossible standards.

You're cheap, that's why you're asking me instead of a pro who can actually make your perfect picture and charge you full price for the annoyance. You prefer to go the cheaper route and demand premium work for peanuts.

Straight pride

 They don't have straight pride month for the same reason why they don't have rich people soup kitchens.

 When straight people brag: "We just got married, going to honeymoon in Cancun."

Gay marriage is pretty much response like this:

"OH YEAH? Well...I just...got married to this blow up doll."

And then after the honeymoon, when the straight person says, "We're about to give birth to twins! I'm so excited!"

The gay marriage answer is similar to:

"YEAH? Well, I still got this blow up doll... And I'm going to adopt some puppies!"

Escaping Magicant

 In the Earthbound/ Mother video game, I have gotten stuck in Magicant (the cloud city with elves) several times.

No, the game isn't broken. You're not trapped in the cloud city forever.

I just now realized that there's a man inside the well dungeon, near the sleeping dragon.

You keep going down holes inside the well, just keep going down the left one till you reach a dead end, then climb the ladder and go down the one next to it until you find a dungeon that doesn't look like a square.

You go inside the box shaped hole, catty corner from the path above the sleeping dragon and fight the fish. It looks like just another enemy, but you can't get the magic hook without fighting him.

The important detail I kept missing was how that blue blob in the crack near the top of the dungeon wall is a guy that you're supposed to talk to.

If you choose 'check,' it only says 'no problem here.' You actually need to talk to the blob.

 The hook only takes you back to magicant, which sucks, because the door blob guy is blocking leads to a new area with semis that give you asthma. You can't do anything once you get asthma, so it wipes you out and you end up in the Magicant save point again.

Sucks

 Trying to clean up in the corner,

Trying to fit a big assed vacuum in there

But I never seen a Hoover Upright

Do Bare Floor in a one inch square

Vacuum doesn't fit there

Vacuum don't do s### there...

Schweppes

 I've got this song stuck in my head, but I don't know who sang it. It was some kind of musician who did commissions.

It goes like this:

I'm going to steal your Schweppies, your Schweppies your Schweppies

I'm going to steal your Schweppies,

Do you like me?

No we don't,

(Can I have your Schweppies?)

No you can't!

Oh I don't know what to do, I guess I'll spend my whole life eating glue, glue glue glue,

And post its...post its are copyright the 3M corporation.

Jireh

 Gyro... you are enough,

Gyro you are enough,

With some feta cheese, the flatbread's sure to please...

Gyro you are enough...

Gyruss you are enough...

Gyruss you are enough,

Spinning round and round, I shoot the spaceships down,

Gyruss you are enough...

Gyro you are enough,

Gyro you are enough,

You keep my airplane sound, so I don't hit the ground,

Gyro you are enough... 

Gyroid, you are enough 

Gyroid you are enough,

Resetti's mad at me, because I'm not saving,

Gyroid you are enough...

Guinan you are enough,

Guinan you are enough,

On Star Trek TNG, you are always there mentoring,

Guinan you are enough 

Satanism

 Of all the religions you could belong to, Satanism is the most illogical. Even Wiccans will agree. 

You're basically taking a religion and doing the opposite of everything in it, instead of getting your own religion. If you really wanted to piss God off, you wouldn't belong to a religion that says that God exists, and what's that line about "the greatest trick Satan ever pulled was convincing people that he doesn't exist"? 

If you really did everything in the satanic religion right, you'd be in jail, because a lot of federal laws are also biblical. Like "do not murder."

A lot of people belonging to Satanism are either rebellious teens, or mild mannered guys like Atticus Murphy Junior on Todd and the Book of Pure Evil.

I've spoken to a wiccan, and he said satanism isn't a serious religion. Since satanism is basically the Bible on opposite day, I tend to agree.