Crazy People Assignments

 Assignment 600: Cook a huge pot of spaghetti, then "accidentally" spill it all over yourself and the floor. Third degree burns are really fun.

Assignment 601: When mom tells you "Use your words", reply in Japanese about how you want to stick lemon popsicles up your butt.

Assignment 602: Whenever you see a sign telling you to not park there, try your best to get the car in there anyway. He who pays the impound lot the most, drives best.

Assignment 603: If a new business takes over a building a different company used to own, don't let them go easy. Demand they still provide the service the old company used to give. That Mediterranean grocery should be able to do your laundry, damn it. And that adult novelty shop should still serve taco John's menu. Liberty Income Tax, you're not exempt. Where's your White Castle food. Spirit Halloween, yours is the heaviest burden of all.