Agent Reader characters

Cupid.acs is the most despicable Agent Reader voice you can download. It sounds like a mosquito buzzing in your ear. It's completely intolerable.

Debbie.acs sounds like a fly. It's a pitch lower than Cupid, and just as obnoxious.

Eman.acs takes about an hour to read a sentence.

Gourdy.acs sounds sarcastic whenever it reads anything.

Pet peeves

I'm getting sick of the flaky behavior of Agentreader. The program is so terrible that if you wanted to make it read Moby Dick, it would ignore the "call me Ishmael" and skip to the finale where Ahab is spearing the killer whale. It used to read vertical brackets | but now whenever one is on the page, it just says nothing when you push play, or it reads from the bottom of the page. Some pages don't have it and it still does it. Not sure if it's due to me downloading new characters or what, but it makes me want to scream. Also, the public library has Explorer 10 or something awful like that and it keeps prompting me to save every file as an mht, which is garbage. I want html files. It makes downloading slow from their computers, because the .mht option is always highlighted and I have to manually switch it to another type. I discovered a little too late that you also have the option to download html only and html full. When you do html only, it only gives the document, and if you want to search for anything on the page, my old version of explorer chokes and gives me an error message. So have to slowly scroll down and see what I've highlighted.
Of course, considering the fact that Livejournal is basically a website full of people who think they're writing in a private journal when it's really online for everyone to see (if it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to see it!), it's probably a waste for me to read them anyway. Half the people just get offended and cuss me out because they think it's a real diary. Well, it might be your diary, but I can surf in through your friend's pages, so get a clue. But I need to get a clue as well and to not shout "the emperor has no clothes" when they're showing off their new duds.

I have just discovered that since I told Agent Reader to not pronounce the vertical bracket on a website, it will skip to the bottom of any page I select, which pisses me off to no end. The only solution is to edit the html code and erase all vertical brackets, or (horrors) have the thing say "vertical bracket end bracket" ad infinitum. Then I will dream about a robot saying "vertical bracket".

Mylifebits

Microsoft’s MyLifeBits project aims to capture in digital form every–thing that happens in an individual’s life. Besides automatically archiving and indexing things like e-mails and text documents, the project includes a wearable camera that snaps a picture at least once every 30 seconds, creating a visual index of every credit card number that you enter while doing your job at work. Customers will appreciate the new system as much as you appreciate your new stereo and nice clothes. Or should I say, "Customers will disappreciate"?

Holiday post

This afternoon, I made stollen. My mom posted my bail after the cops caught me. I don't think I'll be going to Toys R' Us again.

I have an eating disorder

I think I have an eating disorder. I can never eat the mashed potatoes and turkey after I have ice cream. I also have a drinking problem. My face and clothing constantly get wet.

Allstate is not to be trusted

http://michichael.livejournal.com/58694.html
http://michichael.livejournal.com/58465.html
Of course, this is assuming that this is not like an irate customer you get on the average call center line, where the laws of physics and the rules governing reality are bent into a compelling fantasy story that sucks you into its erroneous, supremely flawed logic. They can take a normal, real event, and turn it into something completely wrong. A good storyteller can take a real event that looks really bad for his/her reputation as a moral, honest person, and twist it into an utterly believable, self serving work of fiction where the truth tellers are dishonest villains that cheat and lie to get their way, and the tale teller is depicted as a saint. They can use evidence to support a lie, casually dismiss the truth as fabrication, and convince the listener to believe what is being said, like Hitler's textbooks once persuaded German citizens to accept stereotypes as fact.
Is the author's story for real? I was convinced it was, but did it really happen that way? I don't know.

Laughable UFO story

This is what Phantasmo's Cheese Factory is all about. The paranormal.
For your paranormal reading pleasure, please direct your attention to the article entitled "Strange Blue Light"/"I think ufo are really" from February 19, 2003 on this page:
http://www.ufosoveramerica.com/flash/ufo_sightings.html
Revel in its amazingly bad grammar and unconvincing story. Yes, they are from Kosova (or is it Kosovo?), but still, it is terrible, and the website admin did not edit it. For four years. Enjoy!