Time Travel

If I could go back in time, I'd go back to the time of Jesus. I want to see the resurrection, and the other events. I want to have the level of faith of the apostles. It's impossible 2000 years after the fact. I'd build a time machine just for that. I don't care if I don't get blessed because I don't see and yet believe. I want to see it!
The second reason I'd want a time machine would be to go back and fix the mistakes I've made in my life. To go to the prom, to go to the meetings at my first and only Prepress job. To learn Indesign instead of Quark in my earliest Prepress training.

Secrets

There's a lot of times that I should have kept quiet about things but didn't. My real problem is not with keeping secrets but with bursting out something I regret. Or telling my obsessive compulsive brother about something that will add to his list of compulsions.

What's keeping me from my dream job

What's keeping me from my dream job is the managers at printing companies. They want to save money so they run the prepress department with one or two guys. "We're happy with the people we've got." So the bodies of prepress guys are keeping me from my dream job. The economy is also keeping me from my dream job. My depression is also keeping me from my dream job. I lack motivation and they cannot afford me, despite my willingness to accept any salary. Also, my loyalty to my family has hurt me. I probably could have a job in another city, but I don't want to take plane trips all the time to see my relatives.

My least favorite chore

My least favorite chore is holding down the drain lever so I can pull the hair out of the drain. It takes forever. I do this for my obsessive compulsive brother. When it comes down to it, he deserves to be made to wait for me, because I have to sit there and hold the lever forever so that his precious feet don't step in "dirty bath water" or touch a "pubic hair" (it's probably scalp hair, to tell the truth). My second least favorite chore is handling garbage when the can is full. It's like eating a turd sandwich. I might as well be eating one, since I've already stuck my entire body in garbage. My third least favorite chore is scooping dog poop because it can get runny and splash you in the face when you're trying to bang poop off the scooper to get it into a bag.

Loss

What have I lost that I wish I still had? My job at Vertis. Also, my black coat I had in 2000. I lost it at a theater. And also my Toyota Echo. I wish I hadn't totaled that car. It had great gas mileage. I also lost contact with my penpal Gunpil Na, and my friends Amber Gosorsky and Nicole Jones. I regret losing jobs the most. Along with losing my grandmother and her dog Zany.

Random Chance

Scientists base their theory of life coming into existence out of chance on computer models. That in itself is flawed. A computer cannot generate truly random numbers. They will always be predictable. Video Keno machines can be beat by buying ten tickets, increasing 3% odds to 30%. If video gambling machines and slot machines that pride themselves on being random and unpredictable are not random, why should a computer elsewhere not suffer from the same fatal flaw? Life is not a computer system. It is not the Matrix, because it is not that predictable.

Success

I am but a face amidst thousands of people. I am only another cog in the money making machine. My ideas aren't that original, my abilities aren't that great, or I would have gotten above the masses and made something of myself. I am also guilty of the sin of covetousness. I have coveted the fame and wealth of Stephen King, George Lucas and others. I will forget I wrote this, sadly enough.